mindcube

Garage Sale

2012-01-05T21:05:00.002+07:00

Hello, I am having a little garage sale in order to clean my closet. Do visit this link, and hopefully you'll find something you love!

Cheers!

Pursuit of Happiness

2011-12-29T13:20:00.000+07:00

Inspired by this and this, well, I try to make few simple things that could make me happy. Life crowds make us forgot that sometimes little things could make us smile and happy. So, for me I am happy today because of.....

1. Tried to listening some new musics, given by a friend and found them interesting. Although never hear most of them for all of my life. :D
2. Having a clear and fast internet connection at office.
3. Receiving a beautiful wedding invitation from a friend. I can't believe he sends me one, seeing in fact we're not that close. :)

4. My pre-wedding photographer posted some behind the scenes from our session last Saturday. Happy to see them. :)
5. Laughing out loud of some unimportant conversation that I can't even remember what, with my office mates.
6. Light rain at the morning. Make today's beginning is so different.

So, when you are gloomy and having a bad day, remember what's you've been through and try to find little happiness among them. Have a nice day!

Moving On

2011-12-28T16:42:00.000+07:00

I wanted to write so bad, but it was so bad even I hesitated to call it a writing. It was more than a rambling.
I dunno how many times people had left me in my life. People come, people leave. I even don't dare to say that true love does exist. Bad experience, I guess. So when someone come next to me, and I feel comfortable with them, I feel frightened too. What if they go away? What if they stop loving me?
Yesterday, I read a book, written by Raditya Dika, a writer from Indonesia, titled "Manusia Setengah Salmon". It told me a lot about moving on. That people have to move along their life. Kids grow up into teenagers, teenagers become mature, old, and die. We love someone, and move, and love again, and move again. We can't say exactly where we have to stop, because we don't know. We only feel that maybe it's the right time to move.
So, when someone stop loving you, when someone leave you, maybe it's time for them to move on. Whether you're ready or not, you've given chance to love them, and by the time they go, you can only make sure that you have gotten out the best from you. You can try to stop them, you can try to deny it, but the best thing you can do is keep moving on.
So, being left and disappointed is another life experience, huh? Chin up and smile. There are always good things waiting for you in new place.

Maroon, Gold, Green, and Baby Pink

2011-12-14T09:46:00.001+07:00

A friend was throwing her wedding party on previous Sunday. Decide to go there, although it's quite far from my town, in order to meet her and my other friends. We befriended because we were on same batch when we had our training at our office.
I can't tell you a lot, let the pictures speak. Though I'd like to say that she is so beautiful, I couldn't even recognize her at first. So, pictures!!!

Had no idea what's in our mind when we decided to make similar gown to be wore to Arundina's wedding. It's kinda cute, tough, so we don't regret it. And the gift, is from our batch, we both only coordinated it.

First comes! It was sooo nice to see them all, it's been a long time since we met.

The bride and groom! They are gorgeous, aren't they??

After the couple entered the aisle, it's time to mingle and EAT!!

It's us, ladies! :)

Full team!

We had been called to the aisle to take pictures with the bride and groom. The most awaited moment! :p

Cool pose. I just realized that in second picture, the bride was having fun facial expression. Sorry, you're still the prettiest woman there, dear!

Ooooh, attitude please, guys!

Satisfied with delicious dish and few captures, we still spent more time to take pictures at the outside. Geez.

They prepared the background sheet, but when we arrived, the photographer hadn't came yet. So, we took initiative, and took pictures by ourselves. :)

The Ugly Truth.
Actually I came with my boyfriend. It's just... a friend came and brought her D-SLR cam, and because this was kinda our reunion moment, my boyfriend offered himself to be an impromptu photographer, confidently, because actually he has less skill about it. But I was impressed with his sacrifice, he went there and there taking pictures, such as hired one, and ended with less being captured. But, Eno, such as good friend, took some pictures of us, and believe it or not, they are only pictures of him for all day long.

My Man!! :D

Happy Wedding, Dela Arundina! Have a good life ahead! :-*

Going with Rambling

2011-12-07T11:48:00.000+07:00

Feel a little bit numb lately. I walked a day without knowing what I've been passing, it's like gazing through abstract exhibition, you've finished it but have no idea what you seeing.

I was sitting, hours by hours, trying to finish some unfinished business. And the worst of that is I keep forgetting what to do, my brain is rebelling, folders of mind keep disordered.

I've been through worst. Been through worse moments than today. Should remember how to gain some strengths, some confidence, and I am not big fan of self motivation book. Screw them to tell us how to live. I do think everyone have different life, customized one, so none could generalize your life. I believe it's okay to complain sometimes. It's not like none has ever complained about their life, or job, or lovers. Complaints reminds us how lucky we are, to feel, to have own opinion, to be free to say something.

So, I am gonna hang on as long as I can. Moreover, I read somewhere, only the dead who have no problem. Really? I am one of people who believe life after death, theory which says that we are responsible of what we are doing now, assessed by good and bad things we have done. So, the dead sure still have some businesses down there, right?

I've rambled much. It is the result when you need a distraction from your super busy meaningless life. Some of them dancing, some of them singing, some of them reading. I am writing. And rambling.

Keep trying to make your life count. Do tell me how you cope when you think that your life feels so bored lately.

Crafty Missy Etsy

2011-11-18T09:33:00.001+07:00

Inspired by a friend of mine, I got a new hobby now! Etsy! I can't believe how I've been missing Etsy for this time. I've known it for long time,but I am not interested in that, until... yesterday. A friend of mine made some purchases, and I started to browse through their collection, and they are all fabulous.
Still have no intention to buy something, but looking so many cute things make me happy! So, these are some things that I've been favoring.

Bird Nest Ring Bearer

Handmade Rustic Journal

Antique Victorian Gold Emerald Cut Pink Tourmaline Ring

Harry Potter Golden Snitch Watch Necklace

Blue Vintage Clutch. I want this one!!!

Silk Clutch in Ivory

Kitchen Art Italian Pizza Chef

All pictures taken from Etsy.com

Ah, beautiful stuff can make us happy, can't them? Etsy makes me happy! Happy Friday, everyone!

Better than Bloodline

2011-11-08T09:38:00.000+07:00

One thing I've learned about friendship for these years, that there are really many various friendship. You can't force what friendship you're into, instead letting it flow and be what it be.
Friendship could be suck and annoying, even involves some backstabbing. Whether some of you wonder, "how could it called friendship", but I assure you some think that it's really worth it. I have many experience of this kinda friendship, I even confuse myself why even I try to maintain this relationship while I know sometimes (s)he could speak behind me, or do an inconvenient act who disturbs me. The thing is maybe I am weighing thing. Maybe I am trying to judge whether they are still worth-friend called.
And, look Serena and Blair? Patrick and Spongebob? Even the bestest friend have their own quarrel. But, somehow they manage their personal issues, and turn it into something precious that they know they have to protect it until the end. No matter how hard it is to make up after big fighting, they surely did it, and come back into the dynamic duo.
You'll find your way to recognize what's good and bad from your friends. Don't give to keep trying and valuing your friendship. :) :)

The Old Lady

2011-10-28T14:36:00.000+07:00

Yesterday was National Blogger Day, and yes. No posting at all. Not here, or here, or here. I guess I am the one who put writing as hobby, so I do it when I have time,and yesterday wasn't really good time (and also the day before, and the day before, and the.. oh, cut the crap)

But, here I am, start to writing, as something was bugging me this morning. I was starting this day by thinking about my late grandma. It's been three years since she passed away, and I should admit that her leaving which inspired me a lot to start this blog. That I want to legate something to my ancestries one day. The same reason why I haven't thrown away my old diaries, keep every pieces of old paper that I used to be drawn in high school, just because someday my great granddaughter will read it and laugh at me. Sounds to poetic? Maybe I read romance a lot, but I really want to do it.

So, back with grandma. Since I was baby, she (and grandpa) took care of me because my mom was full time working mother, and my dad worked out of town. Yes, I had a nanny then, but mostly they nurtured me by themselves. Grandma always said that I was grandpa's favorite grandchild, in the other hand she treated all of her grandchildren equally, and had no favorite (well, to be exact I had no idea, but she never showed it that way). Grandpa was my favorite too, but he had been sick since I was so young, and passed away when I was on eight grade, so I didn't remember him much.

Grandma is a graceful woman. She was beautiful and elegant. She was the one who taught me all the beauty tips. Don't forget to use body lotion. Apply balm on your lip. Use aloe vera in you hair. She is the opposite of my mom (grandma said to me once that mom is like grandpa a lot), while my mom is an ignorant, tomboy woman. No, I am not saying I don't love her, they both have their own character, and to be honest, I think I am more like my mother than my grandma. Bloodline, can't resist it, I guess.

With all the mess of my wedding arrangement, I perforce remember her. If she was still here, she will be the one who organize everything. She will take care everything, and maybe, maybe she won't let my mother and I interfere her. She, maybe, will annoy me with her choices, force me to agree in everything she plan, belittle my mother's opinion, and take everything under her control. But, I, in other case, is pretty sure that my mother and I will love it! We (mom and I) are the lazy one, we love handing every vocations to the third party. We don't wanna bother detailed things, and you know, it will be perfect if grandma could be here. After all, she did had a good taste, and I can use her against my mom. Ha!

Too bad, she couldn't. I remember when I was a kid, in our random conversation, I often told her that she should be with me when I graduate from college. Be there when I am jobless, and cheer when I finally get my first job. Go out and have dinner together from my first salary. Meet my fiancee, and assess him as if he is good enough for me. She had to make sure that I'll be perfect in my wedding day. She had to hold my hand when I deliver my first baby. My second baby. And the third baby. She should teach me how to change a diaper, take my child to feel the morning sun, and I even remember told her that she should make peace with mom for my children sake, and take care of them together.

I am sorry the she couldn't make it. She passed away three months before my graduation day. It was painful day, I was four hundreds and sixty three kilometers away and I had no idea what to do then. My dad notified me at 11 pm, and he said that I don't have to go home, because it will be no use. The next day bus is at 6 pm, and at the time they will have already buried her.

She didn't look sick. She looked old, of course, but for me, she was as healthy as teen. No one ever guessed, and everyone seemed surprised. My mother said, grandma was admitted to hospital a day before it because of asphyxiation, but doctor told them nothing serious. Doctor suggested one night stay to monitor her condition, and my mom agreed. Nothing happened that night, mom said grandma slept well, she could eat well, and didn't complain at all. At the morning, grandma asked mom to escort her to bathroom, and mom left her for about two minutes to take something and when she came back, grandma already passed away. I can't imagine how shocked my mom was, we even couldn't talk about that day after that. I forgot how many months had passed, when we were finally able to open up ourselves, and talked about that day.

So, I said to mom this morning, "If grandma was still here and assist us on this (my wedding preparation), I guarantee we'll have a lot of fights". Mom didn't answer,but I know she miss her too. We all do.

For my beloved grandmother, one of greatest person I've ever known. I am so blessed to know you, hope you rest in peace there.
Love, Dela

Foot Protection and Fashion

2011-10-07T14:15:00.001+07:00

Every woman must have their heroine. Me, myself, love shoes very much. While it's so common, but I always reconsider my will to purchase some clothes or bag, and go buying a new shoes. Maybe it started from my limited allowance since high school, and then I talked to myself that someday I'll put aside a bit of my salary for having new shoes (and books, but we aren't discussing it now) every month.
Now, I am a working girl (or woman? It's so hard to decide whether I've already became a woman or not), I find some freedom of shopping. It's kinda out of limit sometimes, looking at many pretty, chic shoes around, I often unable to handle myself, and it usually ends by me, examining my saving balance devastatingly. But, with many local products and affordable products around, I am able to draw a sigh of relief. At least with Wondershoe, I am able to purchase two pairs of flat without feeling guilty. UP provide high class design and fabrics, with affordable price. Too bad,they often run out of materials, so some of their designs are discontinued. Payless Shoesources is a new girl in town. I don't know where this shop comes from (too lazy to google, sorry, you do it for me! :) ), but it supplies many good brands with various designs, and AFFORDABLE price. Again. Well, for middle class society like me, price is always been a priority for shopping consideration. :)

But, for shoes, comfort is always be a number one. For some people, having blister is a bless, but for me it's a big no. So, choose your shoes wisely, and happy shopping! Have a good Friday. :)

Find the Love in the Wild

2011-10-05T14:56:00.000+07:00

Photo taken from here

So, I watched this dating reality show (yes and I kinda liked it. It was silly, a little bit shallow, lots of plot hole, but it entertained me) called Love in The Wild. The show was aired on NBC. Basically, it's like Bachelor or Bachelorette, but the show took place in the middle of Costa Rica jungle, which is I wasn't pretty sure that it's a real WILD JUNGLE, because there were many pretty cottages, pools, and whirlpools there, but you know, TV, we practically forced to believe everything that we saw on it.

I am not gonna discuss this show, or how it works, you go googling it! Haha.. The thing is I had rooted for this couple since the first episode, and they finally became the winner. The winner couple get to travels around the world. FOR FREE. So much for jealousy.

So, Mike and Samantha (the winner) started their world journey at September 25, and they are allowed to pick 10 itinerary, wherever they want, as long as it's still on Planet Earth. And, lucky me, they decided to blog about their journey. So, here I am, read their experience with envy, especially for Rome part. And, they just finished 3 spots!

Visit their blog to follow their travel, and feel the jealousy like I feel! :)

Another Blog?

2011-09-26T08:50:00.002+07:00

So.. tell me this is so common, but I was influenced a lot by people wedding preparation blog. It's so fun reading them, and I start thinking, should I create one? I hesitate, because I don't have many times to write (especially now), but it must be pretty fun to have one, share with each other, or even when nobody come to read, I'll be able to come back to these moments, and remember it.

Well, I think I'll make one. I'll tell you the link later. :)

UPDATE!

THIS IS THE BLOG. VISIT! :)

V 3 is about to come..

2011-09-15T10:44:00.002+07:00

Do you know The Vampire Diaries show? I've been watching it since I don't know, and I have quite serious addiction to it. So, it makes me happy that season 3 is coming tomorrow!!!

Tyler Lockwood is the hottest guy in the world! Yippee!

See you next year, Ramadan!

2011-09-14T15:55:00.000+07:00

So, although Ramadan is over, everybody should be agree with me, there were many special moments during it. Well, admit it, during Ramadan, you always feel belong to home, family and friends, not to be burdened by job, business, and tasks. How many of you created "buka bersama", gathered with family, and old friends? I was lucky that I got chance to meet my elementary school and high school friends. With time limitation, it was such a bless to be together with them all.

With high school friends. They're my classmate for two years, accelerated first class!

With my elementary school mates! To be honest, it was the first time we had reunion since we've graduated about twelve years ago. It was fun, too sad not everyone was able to come, we even barely recognize each other, because we rarely meet. It was funny to remember all childhood memories and laugh it all.

These are my family. My brother, mother, aunt, and cousins. These were taken after Salat Ied in Ied Mubarak Day.

So, already feel blessed? I can't wait until next Ramadan, and hopefully it will be an enjoyable and blessed Ramadan again. :)

These pictures are not belong to me, except for Lebaran series. My two friends took them all. How lovely, isn't it? :) But editing part is all in me. Enjoy!

Suprise!

2011-09-12T14:58:00.000+07:00

So, yesterday my very best friend told me that she was officially engaged! How could she hide everything behind me? And, in same funny way how I keep everything from her, because I wanna make sure everything is going well. All is well I hope, now everything we HAVE TO DO is tried not to tie a knot in SAME DATE. Help me, God.

Keeping Your Holiday Sane

2011-09-09T12:57:00.000+07:00

Hola everyone. How's your Id Mubarak's holiday? I'd like to apologize if I've said or written some unpleasant or inappropriate things directly, or in this blog, or other social media.

Mine was pretty boring. I enjoyed first two days, but after that, things became so constant, time walked sooo slowly, until I had no idea what to do.
So, when holiday almost ended, I got this discussion with a friend. She tweeted why everyone (well, almost everyone) got mad when holiday ends, and they have to start working again. I forgot exactly what she tweeted, she thought it's fun to have a holiday between your crowded job, but working is exactly keeping her sane. Well, the point was balancing your life.

I was responding to her by saying, that it isn't working who drive people mad when holiday's over. But, separating with your beloved one. Especially for people who have to work far away from their family, it's so hard to leave their hometown and start again in far far away land. Well, how about with some people who are able to go home every day to their family. Well, it's still separating from their family for a while. Working mom, working dad, they have to "left back" their children to the sitters. A wife should sacrifice her time for snuggling with her husband. And so on.

Yes, we should get back to the first purpose why we get working, but today's discussion is about people's grumbles when holiday ends. Not life's purpose. :D

And, I don't say that the working part take no part in this holiday end's complaints. They do take part, but in my opinion, it's much harder to leave your family than get working again.

Of course, it was just an abstract discussion in that early morning. And where it went? I believed it imaged me as a qualitative hard worker, who loves her family so much. Ha ha ha..

So, as human, I think it's quite normal that you're sad when holiday ends. But keep thinking about getting holiday forever.Will you enjoy it?

Happy Friday, have a good weekend and enjoy your holiday. :)

Written in the Past

2011-08-12T22:08:00.000+07:00

I like to write. But there was a time, when I was addict in writing. It's not big deal, I only wrote journal. I used to brought my journal practically everywhere, so when something happened, or if there were important moments, I could write them in my journal. It's kinda like photographer and his/her camera, be ready for capturing every moments in life. That was me and my journal. At that time, there were only few people using mobile phone, no pad, no tab, no notebook. I used diary and pen.
Believe it or not, I even brought it to my high school sound festive. So, when I met someone that I liked (at that time!), I could write exactly how I felt. What he wore. Explained what surrounds us.
Re-read my past journal makes me remember how a person could take your breath away so easily. How you could break down and cry just because someone ignored you. And how happy you were, when you realized he was there, inside your viewing distance.
Re-read my past journal makes me wondering how geeky I was. Imagine, a weird girl, when her friends were busy chit chat, mingling around, she was too serious writing her journal. Creepy, huh? That explains why I didn't have many boyfriends at that time. :p
But I am not regretting it. I got a full box of my journals. I've been writing them since I was elementary school, but the most productive time in my writing life is high school. Yes, love can give you huge strength and great inspiration. Miserable love, specifically. I found that I loved to be miserable. More miserable my love life was, more creative I was. I put colorful ink, created some kind of scrapbook, attached some song lyrics.
I still write. Not so much, because of limited time. And limited inspiration. And when you can pour everything into blog or twitter, you'll forget your classic journal soon. I still have one, half-full. And hilariously, when you look at my journal now, there are only two ink colors, black and blue. No photos, no song lyrics. I used to write a long story, but now I only write short once. My journal now is full of financial planning, monthly cash flow, how much I've spent this month, and what for. Or what I should do in a year, two years, three years later.
I am not ashamed with my journals. They are my life. They are me. Maybe some experience in it are creepy, some are laughable, some are sad, some are unbelievable. But whatever it is, it has brought me here. And I'm so grateful that I've decided to copy it into writings.
:)

Picture Tells Thousand Words!

2011-08-05T12:12:00.000+07:00

Hey!
Lately I enjoy spending time by compiling pictures. Thought I'd like to share them here, but don't laugh at them. They're just bunch of silly pictures! :D

Mirror-Capturing Series :D

Random Narcissistic Series

Series to Toba

Training Series

Training (2) series

Birthday series

Tidung - Holiday series

Selabintana Series

Hobby Series (I try to explain that I love books, travel and food a lot! hahaha.. )

Hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave comments! :D

Bittersweet Birthday

2011-08-01T15:12:00.000+07:00

I am about to post this one in Bahasa (well, I am gonna use mixed language, but most of them is in Bahasa). I apologize but I'll be back with English in my next post.

Jadi, Sabtu kemarin adalah ulang tahun gue yang ke 23 (sigh). This year I wasn't feeling anything. Maksud gue, tau gak sih perasaan deg-degan kalo hari ulang tahun mau datang? Do you feel it? Or is it just me? :D

Apa gara-gara udah mulai tua juga ya, jadi gak ngerasa ada special feeling? Atau karena kerjaan ya ridiculously super banyak?

Tapi ternyata hari Sabtu kemarin quite superb. Gue bingung sebenarnya, gue bahagia, tapi gue juga marah. Kesal. Sedih. So, this is the story.

Jadi pagi hari Sabtu, gue pergi sama Wulan ke Depok buat nonton Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows part 2. Yeah, poor us, in our hometown, there is no cinema. At all. But, why's so sad, when anywhere and anytime you can buy pirate dvd? :D

Perjalanan ok, macet dikit-dikit, since I thought everyone were going out welcoming Ramadhan. Singkat cerita, akhirnya gue sama Wulan sampai ke Depok, dimana Wulan's boyfriend sudah menunggu disana.

Eits, where's mine?

Hal pertama yang bikin gue kesal adalah ternyata cowok gue lagi nungguin cakes delivery yang gak dateng-dateng. Jadi, dia order birthday cakes gitu, janjian ketemuan jam 9, tapi sampe jam 11 orangnya masih di jalan. Oh my God, emang dia dari luar kota gitu?

I was so disappointed. Yeah, not my boyfriend's fault, but still... Masa gue harus ngintilin Wulan sama Teguh (cowoknya) kemana-mana sih? Yeah rite, akhirnya karena si orang kue gak dateng-dateng, gue akhirnya bilang ke cowok gue, just leave that cake and cakeperson, cause I don't give a damn about it anymore. Oh, silly, but I need him more than that stupid cake!

Akhirnya sang pacar datang, perasaan gue sudah mulai membaik, trus kita makan sambil tiup lilin! Dan buka kado. *grin*

Okay, I'll admit. I didn't blow the candle, we didn't even light it on. I just put the candle for the documentation use. :D

Stupid cake! But that's the sweet of him, bring me this!

The gift from my boyfriend. Thank you, Love!

Abis makan, nonton HPDH part 2. Been waiting this moment since... I don't know. Pertama nonton Harry Potter, adalah filmnya yang kedua, Chamber of Secret, bareng Wulan (yes, dimulai dengan Wulan,diakhiri juga dengan Wulan), waktu kelas 1 SMA, and we were 15 years old back then! Amazing right? It's been 8 years since the second movie, 10 years since the first one.

The film was good. Gue nangis di beberapa adegan, tapi sejujurnya untuk Battle of Hogwarts, imajinasi gue lebih liar pas baca bukunya. Hehe, a friend said, kalo misalnya mau nurutin imajinasi gue, filmnya mungkin baru dibuat tahun 2020! Tapi secara keseluruhan filmnya sangat menghibur, kecuali bagian akhir yang menurut gue sinetron banget. :D

Thanks buat Teguh yang mau bela-belain pulang kantor mampir dulu buat beli tiket ya!

Selesai nonton, kita makan lagi (oh my God), but this time is my treat. :D

Do you notice that my friend, Wulan, wears t-shirt with number "3" on it? It was her 3rd anniversary with her boyfriend! yeah, happy anniversary. Well, it should be my 2nd anniversary too, but I am not very sure when exactly my boyfriend and me started to date. :D He insists that it was July 30th, but I am not quite sure. :p

Selesai makan gue pisah sama Wulan, karena dia sama Teguh mau berangkat futsal (eh, am I right? Lupa gw, I didn't really pay attention), dan gue mau ke rumah cowok gue di daerah Kampung Rambutan. Nah, tibalah saat-saat menyakitkan itu dimulai.

Normalnya dari Depok ke Kampung Rambutan itu sekitar 45 menit. 1 jam kalo udah ditambah macet-macet dikit. Gue udah mulai curiga pas taksinya merayap terus gak abis-abis. Biasanya emang gak kayak gitu, malam Minggu sekalipun. Kecurigaan gue mulai bertambah saat liat ada truk bawa orang-orang berbaju putih ngibar-ngibarin bendera dengan tulisan-tulisan Arab diatasnya.

Awalnya gue mikir, oh, ini konvoi orang-orang yang mau pengajian. Biasa kan, mereka kalau konvoi mau datang ke suatu pengajian (yang habibnya dari Arab itu tuh), atau mau ada acara tabligh akbar, atau apapun, emang suka rada bikin macet. Tapi biasanya gak separah ini.

Dan jreng, jreng! Setelah dua jam macet, dan sampai ke suatu persimpangan, gue lihat apa sebenernya bikin macet. Jadi ada satu jalur jalan di daerah Tanjung Barat (dari Pasar Minggu arah ke Depok) yang orang-orang itu tutup, dan mereka ngadain pengajian disitu. Iya, di jalan raya. Literally gelar tiker di atas aspal. Nutup jalan, mengakibatkan arus yang dari Pasar Minggu gak bisa lurus langsung ke Depok, harus muter di putaran Rancho dulu. Dan, stupidly lagi mereka maksa buat bikin jalan Depok ke arah Pasar Minggu yang awalnya satu arah, jadi dua arah, padahal jalan itu dari Depok udah macet parah!

Gue gak tau yang mana yang lebih stupid, panitia acara itu apa yang ngijinin acara itu diselenggarakan disitu. I didn't take any pictures, BB gw sama pacar udah mati dari kapan tau. What the hell they are doing there? Maksud gue, apa mereka gak punya tempat lain yang lebih proper apa? Mesjid? Lapangan? Kenapa harus jalan raya yang notabene adalah milik orang banyak? Kenapa harus cari pahala dengan cara menyusahkan orang lain?

Gue sama sekali gak antipati sama pengajiannya, gw juga Muslim. Tapi kalau kayak gini caranya, jangankan mau ngambil hati yang non-Muslim, gue aja caci maki terus orang-orang itu. Mungkin gue emang gak ada keperluan ya, gw lagi gak in hurry, tapi gimana sama bapak-bapak yang abis pulang kantor pingin cepet ketemu istri anaknya? Gimana sama ibu-ibu yang capek diatas motornya? Gue mulai nangis, pas supir taksi gue ngomong (padahal sepanjang jalan dia diem lho), "saya baru keluar, setoran belum dapat sama sekali, dan ini udah hampir 3 jam..". How could they do this to us?

Tapi kan cuma sekali seminggu? Atau sekali sebulan? Yeah, right, jadi kalo misalnya cuma sekali sebulan, lo gapapa nyusahin orang gitu? Kalo cuma sekali sebulan, gapapa lo ngambil hak orang lain? Kalo gitu, ijinin aja koruptor keliaran, pencuri keliaran, dengan syarat mereka cuma boleh nyolong sekali sebulan. What's the difference, anyway?

Dan akhirnya gue sampai di Kampung Rambutan dalam waktu... 5 JAM. Itu pun dengan menyemangati bapak taksi buat ambil kanan masuk pintu tol di depan Gedung Antam. Di dalam tol, gue masih liat arah ke Pasar Rebo macet luar biasa, dan mungkin kalo gue gak masuk tol, gue bakal berakhir dengan nyampe subuh ke Kampung Rambutan.

It's silly. Gue bukannya menyesali kenapa ini semua terjadi di ulang tahun gue. Gue cuma mikir, kenapa masih ada sekelompok orang-orang bodoh yang berpikiran sempit seperti itu. Kenapa harus di jalan raya sih? Pingin dilihat orang? Trus apa bedanya sama riya? Gue benar-benar ingin melakukan sesuatu, tapi gue gak tahu harus apa. Posting ini yang cuma bisa gw tulis untuk ngasih tau ke orang-orang banyak apa yang terjadi.

So that was my birthday. Sweet beginning, bitter ending. Tapi gue masih bersyukur Allah udah menjaga gue selama 23 tahun ini, dan mudah-mudahan akan begitu terus selama tahun-tahun mendatang. Amin!

It's sign for 2 and 3, my age now. 23! I am getting old! :D

Lovely Leave (part 2)

2011-07-29T09:53:00.001+07:00

Felt a bit sorry, because I don't plan this holiday very well, but I was quite satisfied with the result. I was only hanging in Jakarta and around after going back from Tidung. My next stop is Jakarta Book Fair in Istora Senayan. For me, it's like a heaven, seeing so many books from many publishers, sold with cheap prize, and good discount! I didn't take many pictures (of course, I was busy shopping, what do you expect?), and ended with, umm, okey.. a lot of books. Feel guilty, because even now I haven't finished all those books yet. But, anyway, why's so hurry? :)

My babies! Sorry for bad quality, I am not into photography, and only took this with BB camera. I have read The Da Vinci Code, but I couldn't stand to see that they sell its special edition with good price! :D I've read some of them, and as far my favorite is Nasional.is.me by Pandji. Inspiring book with a lot of touching quotes!

Actually I didn't buy Madre at the book fair, I got it delivered a day before, so I guess it's still counted as holiday purchasing. :p The book is awesome, quite interesting, with an unique topics, but it will be better if we discuss it in another blog. :p

Along with the book fair, there were many events held at those weekend. There are Sound Festive, which presented Boyce Avenue. I was so tempted, but it's found later that I am too tired after spending time around, so I decided to go home. Buuut, before going home, I found JakCloth, a festive which presents local brands from Indonesia, held in Plaza Tenggara GBK. So, I thought, why not put a visit? :D

I didn't buy a lot, but quite impressed with a booth named Cotton Island. It sold many beautiful shawl, cardigan, wide leg pants, all made from cotton. Its price is affordable, and when I got there, they gave big discount. Yay!!! You can visit their shop here!

Wearing one of Cotton Island's shawl

Last day on my leave, I went to my best friend's wedding in Bogor. It was beautiful, decorated with pink and gray theme, I honestly never see people using pink in wedding before, but it's really cute. Meet some college friends there, what a perfect day! Wedding always bring me an extraordinary happiness, to see my friends grow up, and ready to start a new life, new challenge in their life!

Look at the pink ornaments behind. It was pretty. And they put a lot of pink and white roses everywhere!

Happy Wedding, friend!

Well, this is it! I guess I was having some fun, refreshed from all daily activities. Hope I can take another leave soon! And at this time, I'll make sure that I've planned it well.

Evil World

2011-07-25T09:27:00.000+07:00

From the beginning, I know life is not always running well. There should be obstacles everywhere, every time. I've also known that people are not always be good. We've learned that people can be so evil, mean in their own way. That's all I've already learned, but when it comes down on me, it just bang! Like an unexpected event, with no sign, bad thing happens to me.

I really have no idea, why people can be so evil. When you think you've already done well, and even you've tried to achieve the best from you, there comes people who try to let you down, accuse you with something that you didn't do, spread bad word about you. How come they? There we go, to every human's weakness. Money. When it comes to money, it's like they can do whatever they like. They do everything without noticing, whether people they've blamed is have feelings, have family ( who hurt by their accusation).

Feels so sad about it, but lesson learned. I do believe in God, and I am quite sure that He will protect us, and treat us equally. So, until it comes, may the innocent be patient.

Lovely Leave (part 1)

2011-07-19T07:43:00.000+07:00

After waiting for a year (with no holiday), finally I got permission for 10 day leave. I got many plans, where to go,what to do, too bad, because it's weekday, it's a little bit hard to get a companion. Thank God, my boyfriend was permitted to take a leave for two days, and with some friends, we went to Tidung Island in Kepulauan Seribu. It was so beautiful place, and most important is you can enjoy the trip with limited budget.

Bicycling around the island

At the bridge, which connects Tidung Island and Tidung Kecil Island

Guess, sunset or sunrise??

At the west dock, when first arriving in island

I stayed for two days and a night, it was tiring day, because we had all activities packed in two days! Bicycling, snorkeling, taking a walk around the island (you can visit the whole island by taking a walk, it's a tiny pretty island!). Well, I definitely want to come back the other holiday. :)
If you are interested, you can visit Tidung Island from Muara Angke port or Marina port. It takes about 2.5 hours to reach the island by ship. There are many travel packaging to there too.

I'll continue my holiday story in next post. Hope it won't bother you! :D

Enchanted July

2011-06-30T20:16:00.000+07:00

Finally! This June is crazily busy. Totally. Well, I am really glad it's finally over, and we're welcoming July! July is one of my favorite month, mainly because I was born in July, secondary because my boss approved my leave. Glad to know that finally I'll be having my holidays (nine days exactly), although I have no idea where to go, what to do. I've planned some, go to the beach, get complete facial treatment, buy a lot of books, learn to cook, but to be honest, after arranging my schedule, I still have a free week. My oh my, way too excited, even I almost couldn't sleep last night! :D

I am turning 23 this year, how old! I have some birthday wishes, but nothing is more important than this. Will tell you later about it, they said it's forbidden to talk about it, until you're sure that it'll happen.

About my review blog, uh-oh, I feel so guilty. The thing is when first I created this blog, I was thinking that I'm doing something that I love, and I don't want to feel pushed doing it. So, I feel sorry for you, who wait for my posts, but they don't come as fast as you hope. Life happens, and I should prioritize what most important for me. But, you should check these two, Fanda and Ana. Both of them are great reviewer, and I should confess that they inspire me a lot. :)

So, how's your life? Hope it's enchanting like ever!

Wandering

2011-06-23T07:36:00.000+07:00

This morning, I was wandering my friend's notes, and found this one *sobs* I miss them! Very much!

Barusan dapet 2 kabar gembira dari 2 temen gw. Satu dr temen KKN Ardan Afwal Maulana yg diterima di pertamina (kayaknya udah lama cm gw baru tau), satunya lagi dr temen kos lama dulu di Semarang Arfiani Lina yg diterima di ODP Mandiri. Very proud to both of you guys!! Suddenly, pikiran gw jadi ke mana2, ke temen2, sekolah, kuliah, waktu yg gw habiskan bersama semua temen2. And here we are, kalo kata dosen gw Pak Agung, sampailah kita pada titik kritis hidup kita yang kedua, menentukan arah jalan hidup mau kerja di mana atau di bidang apa( yang pertama menentukan jurusan kuliah, yg ketiga menentukan pasangan hidup). Setaun belakangan ini gw ngerasain kondisi kritis ini, dan kebanyakan dari temen2 gw, yg notabennya emang seumuran ma gw, juga mengalami hal yg sama. Dan kebanyakan dari mereka(bisa dibilang temen2 seperjuangan) dapet pekerjaan yg bagus track recordnya. Bangga gw! Selamat buat yg diterima di BUMN, Departemen, Pemda, Perusahaan Swasta dan yg meneruskan S2. Buat yg masih berjuang nyelesein TA, ato masih jadi job seeker jangan putus asa. Untuk yg masih mengabdi sama dosen ato belajar kerja, you’re the best from all, gw pernah merasakannya, n itu pengabdian dan pembelajaran yg sebenarnya. Semuanya jangan puas dengan apa yg udah dicapai (semoga gw pun bisa begitu), belajar dan belajar untuk menjadi orang2 hebat. I know u will guys!! Suatu saat nanti gw akan bilang ke anak2 gw “mentri itu kan temen kuliah mama dulu, pengusaha ini temen mama SMA, ketua anu temen maen mama dulu jaman muda, penulis buku itu temen kos mama, artis x ini dulu mama yg nyontekin ulangan, bla..bla…bla..”. Kalo kata temen kuliah gw Risang “dan kita akan berjalan sendiri2” (kurang lebih begitu). Jalankan peran kita masing2 di hidup ini sebaik mungkin. Yang terpenting mungkin bagaimana kita bisa bermanfaat buat orang lain, sederhananya bermanfaat buat orang terdekat, muluknya bermanfaat buat bangsa dan Negara! Ayo saling mengingatkan!

This post was written by Vega Fitria.
Thank you for reminding me of those great days. :) :)

First Love

2011-06-08T11:16:00.000+07:00

They say it lasts forever. Well, I am kinda agree about it.
Forever in maybe we'll laugh everything about it, if somehow we are reminded of it, giggle our foolishness and wonder how we could do such a silly things, like obsessed with some (called cool) boys (or girls). Forever in someday we're going to tell our story to our children, and grandchildren, and make sure that they won't repeat the same mistakes, like we did.
We fell in love, then we leave, found another leave, then leave. It's beautiful to have all the stories, because (I think I've said it before), we can forget names, places, time, but we can't forget feeling. The beautiful feeling that we had it before, it still feels beautiful right, even when we don't have it anymore.
So, it doesn't mean you're unfaithful, when you say it lasts forever. It's like we remove a file in a recycle bin, it's there, but we don't need it anymore. :D

It's All About Money!!!

2011-06-05T17:00:00.000+07:00

As a young, who just start in independent working life (it's almost three years actually), I've tried to support myself without parents help. People may think it's easy, but it's not actually. I am not a spoiled child, my family live properly, we are not rich, but we can't feed ourselves well. :p I could buy stuffs I wanted by saving, my mother rarely buy me stuffs, except on my birthday, or some celebrations, but usually I should work to get it. In my college, I rarely bought any clothes, shoes, accessories, because I used to spend my allowance in books.

There, when I started working and get my own salary, I feel satisfied. A lot. It's a lot of money, and I've earned it by myself (well, although after now, I don't look it as a lot of money, but still I should be grateful). At that time, I thought since I never had chance to buy fancy things, why not now? So, I shopped, shopped, and shopped. Without realizing, I've spent my first year of working without having any savings.

Thanks God, I never had to ask from my parents, think I have big ego for it. But, then, one afternoon, my mother asked me jokingly, how much I have saved throughout my working period. Then, bam! Uh-oh, such an awareness was hitting me, then I think, could I put aside small amount of my payment into saving account? Yes, of course, I can. :)

Now, after almost three years, I must confess that I still struggle with this saving thing. It's still hard for me, although I've specified percentage of saving every months, but when temptations come (shoes and books! they kill me! argh!!), I still did a little cheating, and cut the percentage. Shame on me. But at least, I've tried, and I never miss a month. For saving. Not cheating. Thanks God again, I have a boyfriend, who saves diligently, and always remind me how important saving is.

PS. After learning a lot from books, friends, websites, I've tempted to do some investments, but I've reminded that I still had this short term goal. Hope I can accomplish it one by one, amin.. amin! :) :)

Way Too Dramatic

2011-05-30T14:50:00.000+07:00

I love being dramatic. This is who I am, a drama queen, who like to magnify all small things happen in life. But then I grow up, then realize that I am not a center of universe anymore. People around me are different, they have priorities, duties, more important to just listen my drama whinning and complaint.

So, I try to change. Of couse, I can erase this drama thingy, it still happens, but only to CLOSEST person in my life. Image is important, when you try to work in a team, make sure you're not acting like spoiled brat. It's cute when you're 17 or something, but c'mon, how old are you now?

I remember in college, everyone is ready to assist me. My problem is also their problem, and everbody seems so nice. People unite to solve one difficult problem, and I am safe. When first I step into business world, the first thought in my mind is friends at office are not as nice as friends at college. They measure things, when people at college freely help us. I felt exhausted at the beginning.

But then, then, then.. I realize something. My friends at office, they do try to act nice, but sometimes they just don't have time. They can't help me because they have more problems than I have.

So, time to grow up, everyone! :D Be strong!

Acted like 17 while..

2011-05-06T15:30:00.000+07:00

1. Angry with my mom. My mom has some fun when teasing on me, but sometimes I became sulky when she did it. It was childish, buuut... well, her teases always drive me crazy.

2. Hanging with my boyfriend. Well, I am the spoiled one in our relationship, but it seems like he does like it in its way, so let it be! :D

3. Watching some cheesy TV series, then talk about it with my friends. Lately, I was addicted with some TV series, like The Vampire Diaries, Glee, and House. Really great distraction for my reading hobbies (sigh). And, suddenly I become a shipper! You know, someone who really loves to pair two characters from the TV series. It's not soooo mature, I am a bit shy to admit it. Well, my favorite one is Finchel from Glee, and Forwood from TVD. Oh, such a kid's job, huh? Well, you have no idea how enthusiastic we talk (me and my friends, who are shippers too), if we had watched recent episodes of whatever then discussed it. Silly, it was like we are not 23 or 24 something (oops), but teenage girls, who screamed against their favorite movie stars. :D

Time after Time

2011-05-05T07:42:00.001+07:00

It's funny how you realizes time passes rapidly, you are driven by crazy business, and in the middle of the night, you wonder and wish if a day could be 36 or 48 hours-long. Growing up makes me think more often than usual, work harder than usual, and spend personal time to non-personal things. Doing hobbies, socializing, dating, vacationing should be prepared before, estimated carefully, in order not to mess with other schedules. How I miss those day when I could do something without planning first, had holiday without careful estimation of time or budget. Just went.

But, again, we live in the world full of regularity. Follow the rules. Some would said, the rules are made to be broken, but c'mon, it would be one in a billion case. Even, when you say if someone really love their jobs, or do something they love for living, they would never have to work during their life, it's a big mistakes, I think. In my opinion, whether you are designer, banker, artist, web programmer, dancer, writer or whatever (pick your hobbies and add "-er" behind), someday you'll face regulations. Rules, which are made around you. Say it is deadline, or customer's taste, or whatever. You couldn't act like you want, you couldn't build full idealism around you, and say, "It's my world, it's my job, take me of what I am, or leave me". You should compromise, whether you like it or not.

Some people are able to live their live independently, free to do what they want, but I say once again it's a rare case. Compromising is the best way, you don't have to complain all day along. At the end, remember you are so blessed. Have you imagine what if God gives us 12 hours- a day, instead of 24 hours?

Have a good day, good week, and good year,everyone! :D

Not a Hate Letter

2011-04-20T08:04:00.002+07:00

Before reading my post, I emphasize you all, that it is not hate letter. I only have deep concern to this thing.

So, everybody should know UP, a new brand of shoes, created by Diana Rikasari, focused in creating cute and lovely wedges. First I opened its website, and saw their collections, I fell in love. They were lovely, cute, versatile. UP become every girl's favorite in an instant, in a second they receive a lot of order, with the result that I always face "overload capacity" status in the website.

Well, finally, I got a chance to order one of the cute wedges, called Pandora Nude. I made payment on April 1th 2011, confirmed it, and got verified at this day. Then I wait, wait, and wait.

This morning, I opened their website, and tracked my order.
The result is..

Well, dear UP, why's my order status still IN PRODUCTION? If I calculate WORKING DAYS from April 1th ( working days is Moday-Saturday ), it's been 16 days, right?

I feel disappointed. I've already mentioned them in twitter, and emailed them, and I got very humble replies. They said sorry for order's delay, and gave me 20% discounts for next purchase. But the thing is I've planned to wear it on my cousin's wedding at April 23th, and now, I feel like I shouldn't hope that high.

Dear UP, you promise your every customer, that they will get their wedges done in 7-14 days. But I don't see it happens to me. Maybe I am only little customer, who only buy a pair, but don't you think your customers should get similar satisfaction? I am so disappointed. I know you should handle a lot of order in short time, with limited capacity, but please, please,keep your promise to your customers.

I am not trying to pull any tensions, I just share my experience. And I don't encourage people not to buy UP, they have such as beautiful wedges, and (from what I heard, because I haven't received my own UP) very comfy ones. They still can make improvement to make their services better than this.

Thank you.
Dela

UPDATE.
Finally it's ON DELIVERY. After several explicit emails and tweets (because they weren't still able to give EXACTLY DATE when my shoes will be delivered), and finally I had to give firm threat that I would ask them my money back (usually I don't do this. As long as I shop in ONLINE SHOP, it was my first time to ask refund of money), finally when I opened their website, I found it's on delivery. Well, 21 working days, counted from my payment confirmed in April 1st. I appreciated their replies, email, humble discount offers, but still feel sorry that they have abandoned their customer like this. Now, let's wait the wedges to see if it's worth to be waited for this long.

little worm are here again

2011-04-11T22:05:00.000+07:00

Thanks God, finally got my reading passion back after few weeks just crawling lazily in my bed, watching some tv series ( I am addicted to The Vampire Diaries now! *blame Dela Arundina*). So, got myself few books, which will be reviewed in my blog soon. I love, love, love Fira Basuki's work, I have read Kapitan Pedang Panjang, gonna work its review soon, and can't wait until I receive Astral Astria and Paris Pandora from Vixxio. Read some Meg Cabot's too lately, I love Mediator series! It's way cooler then Princess Diaries, I adore how great Cabot's imagination is! And Heather Wells series, who thought that Meg Cabot is an expert in writing detective story? It's not a Hitchcock's, but I bet you'll love it! :D

So, wait for some reviews soon! Visit the other blog to read them!

Have a good life!

xoxo
Dela!

Image is all around

2011-03-29T07:47:00.001+07:00

So, when a friend tagged me some good photos in facebook, I was tempted to edit them, and I included some old photos too. :)

OK. Have to go work, will continue it when I got time. Photos are belong to Sonny, Sri, and Novi. Edited by me. :)

Smoking or No Smoking?

2011-03-16T08:49:00.000+07:00

Seseorang pernah berkata,"Motivasi datang dari sendiri. Sekeras apapun "orang lain" memotivasi anda, apabila Anda tidak tergerak hatinya untuk berubah, maka motivasi itu akan sia-sia".

Saya hidup diantara orang-orang perokok. Keluarga saya mayoritas perokok. Teman-teman terdekat saya perokok. Waktu SMA dan kuliah, sering kali saya bertanya,"Kenapa merokok?", "Apa enaknya merokok?", "Gak sayang kesehatan?", "Gak sayang duit?" and bla... bla... bla...

Dan respon yang saya dapatkan juga bermacam-macam.

"Merokok bisa membantu gue berpikir dengan jernih.."

"Kalo gak ngerokok, gue gak bisa kerja."

"Banyak kok orang yang gak ngerokok, tapi tetep gak bisa nabung beli mobil sendiri kayak gw."

"Coba lihat, mana ada orang meninggal pas lagi ngerokok."

"Banyak kok orang sakit bukan karena rokok."

Bla...
Bla....
Bla....

The thing is I really don't give a damn whether you are smoker or no. I love you just the way you are (hehehe..), as long as you don't smoke in front of me, or among people who don't smoke. It's your own choice to keep smoking, but please, please, please, don't let other people also suffer its consequences.

Thank you.

*postingan yang dibuat karena ada bapak yang merokok di angkot seenak jidatnya, padahal jelas-jelas di pintu angkot ditempel stiker "Dilarang Merokok di Tempat Publik". What a moron*

Hurtful

2011-03-10T19:50:00.001+07:00

It always hurts when you don't get what you've expected. When you are a bunch of hopes, and suddenly.. bam! You are struck by reality, and reality's bitter.

And you're ended by complaining, being sad, stressful. You are falling apart from sky which has been created by your own imagination, to the deepest disappointment.

You've heard for a lot of times that you can always get what you want. You recognize it very well, but it turns that you have no idea to apply it. We, human, can be so pathetic one time, and be very wise another time. when we grow older and older, we'll feel mixed complicated feelings. Denial. Letting go. Sacrifice. Selfish.

By writing this, I realize that myself is one of most selfish annoying creature in this world. I keep grumbling, criticizing, differing right and wrong to other persons, while I rarely do it. keep thinking that I am one of pitiable person, that other person always get better than me, even when I've tried harder than them. God, I really have no idea how I could be such a hypocrite.

But will do better day by day. At least I'll try. Because, even I see myself as bad person, there will be people who love me unconditionally. Being around me, give their love and prayer, receiving me as who I am.

And you? How about you? Have you ever felt so hurt? So, let's wake up, and try something. Change! I wish we all can be better person. :)

PS. It's been rough week. Farewell, new place, adapting, and something under my expectations. For everyone who also have it, let's struggle together facing this life. You're not alone!

Mellowed

2011-03-04T08:22:00.001+07:00

So, I was mellowed yesterday night, couldn't sleep, and decided to edit some old pics from my batch-mate. It was fun, indeed, and sad, realized that we will separate in long time. So, here the result, hope you enjoy!

Well, I did mistake while editing pic above. It's me, had been sleeping. I should insert "Rubi", she is one who wear purple clothes. too lazy to re-edit it. :)

As I said, before you realize, there are many people, who have leaved footprints in your life, whether you like it or not. Someday, when we get older and older, and keep busy with our own business, hope we will see their prints once again, and remember that they are real. They were there, and always be there. :)

Simple Happiness

2011-03-03T08:39:00.000+07:00

It's been a while since I was picnicking to somewhere else. Well, I used to be a traveler, but once again, I think I am too tired to do anything, because of full hectic weekday, and all I want to do is sleeping in my boyfriend's arm, watching some good movies at home, and having yummy meals. Am I missing going outside, traveling somewhere new, doing something extraordinary?

Yes.. but life happens.

When I first took this job, I really knew its consequences. Building career means you will be very very busy. When you are trying to reach a direction, you have to be focused. I often wonder, is it worth it? Am I sacrificing my life to be good, to be perfect in this job?

And, when I am going home early, I sleep early, I will think the way around. Am I not good enough for this job? Have I tried hard?

For me, it's bit confusing to measure how hard you've tried to do your best. I want it work for both way. Some people say it's impossible to WOMAN, to get a good family life, and good career. Well, I'll try. I'll do my best for both way.

And friend asked, "If you're asked to choose? What will you choose? Job? Family?"

I am not going to make any judgement. Everyone should create their own happiness, decide what's matter for them. And for me, family comes first. I've thought it, even when I haven't built my own family. :) But again, it will be different for other people. For you, who choose career as your life choice, it's good for you. (and I am not being cynical). Screw them, who tell woman is created to be home, and take care family. It's a happiness for me, but you.. yeah, you, should decide and grab your own choice.

I see many happy career woman around me. I see many working mother, struggling hard to feed their family, and also are happy. And also, I see many happy housewives. So, everyone could be happy, right? :)

Well, wish the best for you all, have a happy life. Don't forget to be happy, because happiness matters!!!

Time is Coming...

2011-02-25T08:25:00.001+07:00

....whether we like it or not. There are things that couldn't be changed in life, one of them is farewell. Look at your life, how many person have you "leaved" behind, how many who have leaved their footprints, how many have you forgotten?

You can forget faces, you can forget names, but you can forget feelings. There are similar feeling shared before. Love, hate, sad, happy. When we observe what we had together at the past day, we'll smile and be grateful, how God has united all of us.

Then we have to cope with new life, in very different places, away one from another. Then we realize how important our relationship are, how we managed it like it was ordinary things, but then turns into extraordinary one. It was our daily routine, like breathing air, something we seldom appreciate. Then we lost our oxygen, we just realize how essential it is. How our bonds are real.

....so as Sawamura says,"if separating make us stronger, then why not?"
So.. until we meet again?

Perfect Day are...

2011-02-15T09:43:00.000+07:00

1. Waking Up Late

2. Listening Katy Perry's Firework and James Morrison's You Give Me Something while waiting boyfriends comes bringing me breakfast :p

3. Gloomy weather outside and even I don't care because who even want to go outside?

4. Hugging my teddy bear tight.

5. Busy picking out which DVD's should be spent all this day long.

Happy Holiday!

Happy Birthday Nyomnyooom!

2011-02-06T18:46:00.000+07:00

I am officialy broke.

This February is my boyfriend's birthday, and I decide to give him a gift which..um, has spent most of my monthly money. So, the result is I should struggle to hold my shopping will, but this Aksara Annual Sale makes it harder. Oh, maybe I could stop shop clothes and shoes for a while, but not for books! They rarely arrange sale for book, so yes, go for it!

These what I purchased. George's Cosmic Treasure Hunt by Lucy and Stephen Hawking, Officialy Guide to House TV Series, and Collection of Sherlock Holmes case. Got a great deal, by saving 20-30% for them! Happy!

Beside that, I also get The Necromancer by Michael Scott (it is the fourth book of The Alchemist, remember?) and The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking. I really love physic, even I am not working on it now. Thanks to my high school teacher, who was introducing me to Hawking and his book.

And now, the homework is to write the review of all those books. I've already finished one, you can read it here, and wish that I could have spare time to create the rest. Life happens fast, too many works to do, and so little time. As other people expect, I do want some extra times in a day, but I think we should be grateful with 24 hours-a-day, shouldn't we?

Last, but not least, don't bother to watch, I share my photos with friends when we were on stress, calculating cash budgeting or even create some silly analysis for other companies. hope I will see you soon! :D

Ah!

2011-01-06T01:29:00.000+07:00

I miss blogging a lot! It's been whole time, huh?? Sorry to make you wonder, but life happens. I've been so busy, developing my career, haha.. Studying hard, playing hard, and then I had no time to write. What an excuse! Yes, I am sorry... Even after this, I can't promise that I'll able to write as I used to be.

So, what's up with you? How's holiday? How's New Year? I have to admit that I had boring but happy New Year Eve. I never see New Year as special day, it's just an ordinary day in the beginning of the year. So I did nothing, just slept so late and watching House!! Oh, I love Gregory House, he is awesome! :)

I miss posting in my another blog too. I still read many books, but truthfully I was bit lazy to create some reviews. Hehehe.. Here's my reading list lately.

- Test Pack by Ninit Yunita. Old things, been reading it before, but still love it!
- Empat Musim Cinta, compilation by Adhitya Mulya, Okke Sepatu Merah, etc.
- The Tourist by Olen Steinhuer
- Basic Accounting by Libby/Libby/Short (hahaha... ignore it!!!!)
- Melisa 1,2,3 by S.Mara Gd

it's so late now! I have to say goodbye! see you!

Should Be Happier

2010-10-01T07:56:00.000+07:00

Life is full of grievance lately. Disappointed but sure, nothing will gonna run straightly, won't it? Now it's time to try to be happier, more positive. It's hard to recognize your fortune, be grateful of what you've achieved. But, not bad if we try. Remember, there are always people who love our existence, even we're doing nothing for them. For example, mother. How could she love us genuinely and unconditionally, where sometimes we can't reply her as much as it should? So, be grateful. Not easy, but worth to try.

Gonna share you a picture from my reunion week ago! They are my elementary schoolmates. It feels good meeting old friends, you see, no matter how far they've gone, no matter how long we've lived our own life, there's an invincible boundaries who can't be erased by time. :)

Happy October everyone!!!

Saya Nge-Tweet maka Saya Ada

2010-09-30T08:43:00.002+07:00

Jadi, seharian kemarin timeline Twitter sudah berubah menjadi ajang pertempuran yang berdarah-darah. Denotatif dan konotatif. Sedari pagi, tweet tentang tragedi Tarakan bermunculan, disusul bentrokan di kawasan Ampera, Jakarta. Seolah belum cukup dengan susunan kata-kata yang membuat bulu kuduk merinding, banyak juga orang yang me-RT foto korban Ampera yang berdarah-darah.

Iya, Twitter adalah social media dimana orang BEBAS mengutarakan apapun pendapatnya. Menulis apapun masalahnya. Sarana pengekspresian diri sendiri. Sarana komunikasi dengan orang lain. Gak ada batasan dalam hal itu (kecuali kalau kita seorang public figure, dimana dengan men-tweet kata-kata yang menurut orang lain kurang pantas, hukuman penjara bisa menanti).

Tapi, seandainya Anda adalah salah satu keluarga, teman dari orang yang wajah berdarah-darahnya terpampang di tweetphoto yang Anda RT, apakah Anda akan tetap semangat menyebarkannya ke seluruh follower Anda? Belum lagi ditambah kutipan bercanda, yang menurut saya tidak pantas diungkapkan, pada seorang yang meninggal seperti itu. Bayangkan apabila Anda adalah anak, keponakan, kakak atau adik dari orang itu. Belum cukup duka yang Anda dapat, kengerian yang didapat dari foto yang disebarkan, ditambah dengan komentar-komentar yang menyudutkan.

Sore harinya salah satu menteri kita muncul dengan tweet yang (menurut saya) offensive terhadap satu pihak tertentu. Tidak salah, memang tidak salah, Twitter adalah sarana mengekspresikan pendapat kita. (lagipula Indonesia "katanya" adalah negara demokrasi, dimana kebebasan berpendapat dilindungi oleh negara). Pro kontra bermunculan kepada menteri itu, mulai dari bahasa halus, sinis, sampai ke kasar menyerang. Saya akui saya termasuk yang kontra, walau tidak sampai menyerang.

Ada yang berkata, kenapa harus diacuhkan? Kenapa tidak membiarkan orang lain nge-tweet seenak dewenya, apabila tidak setuju, ya sudah, tidak usah mencak-mencak, reply, atau malah memulai perang tweet. Saya setuju. Tapi, ada beberapa orang yang berpikir kalo Twitter adalah semacam sarana komunikasi, dimana kita bisa berkomunikasi dengan orang-orang yang sebelumnya tidak dapat kita sentuh. Artis. Penulis. Penyanyi. Menteri. Bahkan Presiden.

Jadi, orang yang setuju, menyanggah, menyangkal, atau "berperang" di Twitter itupun sebenarnya tidak bisa disalahkan. Fungsi dari Twitterlah yang membuat mereka (termasuk saya) "gatal", tidak mampu berdiam diri, me-reply si menteri, dan berharap si menteri mau membaca pendapat kami yang bertentangan dengan pendapatnya. Apakah itu berarti kami melarang si menteri berpendapat? Oh, tidak. Sekali lagi, Twitter hanyalah sarana berkomunikasi. Pendapat orang boleh berbeda kan, setiap orang berhak menyanggah atau menyetujui.

Membalas atau mengacuhkan. Dua-duanya tidak dapat dibilang salah. Setiap orang punya hak kan? Kalau misalnya Anda merasa terganggu, as simple as clicking "unfollow" button on your twitter. :)

PS. I am not following the minister. I know his tweets from someone that I've followed, and I don't feel doing any mistakes by spreading it to my followers. Lebih banyak orang tau, lebih bagus kan, karena akan lebih banyak orang yang berpendapat. Lain hal dengan foto korban Ampera. Akan lebih bagus kalo kita stop menyebarkannya, atau menyebarkan lewat media pribadi. Sedikit empati gak akan menurunkan follower segitu banyaknya, kan? :)

RE-QUESTIONING

2010-09-28T19:30:00.000+07:00

When should we know that it's time to stop and give up? I know we shouldn't give up as easy as that, but there must be limit, right? We're human being, anyhow. So, when we know that we don't want into this anymore? How can we differ time to stop and time of whining ourselves?

What's wrong, dude?

2010-09-28T15:17:00.000+07:00

It drives me crazy. Nothing annoys me more than bad mood, unfinished report and task, and this crazy gadget!

So, it's my first time purchasing netbook online in Bhinneka.com. No worries, although it's first time, but I've heard many good testimonial from their customer. Beside that, Bhinneka is one of leading computer webstore, so I should have no worries, right?
So, my boyfriend purchased this HP Mini Vivienne Tam edition for me. Weird, after three days, my netbook started beeping weirdly. And, after that, it freezed, and went black. I only opened two office windows, not tough application, so I had no idea what's going wrong.

It happened on and on, and at least I was so annoyed and I almost cried in office, because I should undo my job continously because of its failure.

After that, I asked my boyfriend to go to Bhinneka, and ask my notebook to be exchanged with new one. New one,of course, I didn't any services, I've just bought it for 3 days! So, there he went, and I didn't know if he checked that they really give a new one or no.

I received my "new" netbook.Strangely, when I started to browse, it had my previous history in Mozilla Firefox. Completely. It was my habit to not signing off any accounts if I open it in my personal PCor laptop, and when I tried to open twitter, it directlyopened into homepages. Without sign-in page. Weird, huh? I know, they moved all my datas and document to my "new" netbook, but I don't think it can be applied to password too. As I know, if we change our netbook, we'll receive clean history, and we should re-enter id name and password. Correct me if I am wrong.

So, was it mean that Bhinneka didn't change my netbook? I have no idea, but then my netbook started beeping again like previous "old" one, and went black again. similar like"old" one. My boyfriend tried to contact Bhinneka via phone, messenger, but he turned to be ignored and thrown one to another.

I was running out of time, there are many deadlines to be caught up,and they didn't even want to listen. I didn't know what's wrong with my netbook, one thing I am sure of that it'll be my first and last time purchasing things in Bhinneka.

Amigo

2010-09-23T10:52:00.001+07:00

This morning, like my daily habit everyday when I arrive at the office, I opened my twitter timeline (yes, I always open twitter first EVERY DAY, so? it's good chance to see what's interesting today. Example, i found very recent trailer from Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows! check it!), I read a friend's tweet which tickled my mind. The point is, is it true when we're growing up, our best friends will begin to go away from us, and we start our own life, separated, limited communication?

It makes me thinking. Am I? And I realize that it's true. When I am growing up, older, and older, there will be several things, come in life, and become new priority. Job, yes it is. Boyfriend, who will gonna be my spouse, of course I should take care of him seriously. Future planning, what I am gonna do for living, financial planning for my financial kids. Sooner or later, whether you want or no, you have to think all of them.

It doesn't mean that I forget my friends. Our togetherness. Fun. I was having good times with them. Without them, I couldn't be who I am today. It would totally be different me. But when I should arrange new priorities now, it'll be different of 5 years-ago me. Yes, it's annoying to be adult, we aren't as free as before, there are many responsibilities to be handled, but it's all life process. One day, when we have lost our capability to work, we'll face those free days again. Watching our grandchildren playing, gardening, maybe? Every human is living their own process.

And, yes, we're different to another. Maybe, I am kind of person who have this perspective, prioritize one thing above another. But, maybe there are people who can live their life with having fun while working. But I try to balance every aspects in my life. And I do hope that each friendship who have existed in my life, will last forever. Maybe we don't have good quality like it was, but, we can keep it living, right? Gloomy light will be better than darkness at all.

Everyone who has been involved in my life, of course have important role. They play their own part to bring me to this day. No matter how small they contribute, I always know that they have butterfly effect in my life.

I love my friends! Wherever they are, whatever they do, and however long we don't keep contact, I still love you!!!

Red and White

2010-09-22T17:36:00.000+07:00

Well, when my country is having bilateral problems with nearest neighborhood country, and everyone develop their rage and nationalism, I should be honest that I don't know what's wrong in my head. I am not proud of being Indonesian. Truly. Should I say that if another country offered me its nationality, it will be very possible that I will nod and say yes.

Am I wrong? When everyone compete to perform their nationalism, hold several demonstration, attack the ambassador of our "enemy", I do think that they shouldn't do that way. People act vandalism everywhere, and fighting, as they know what it's all about. Yes, I know, many people were getting killed in order struggling our independence, but still. Never give respect to a country who isn't able to protect their own citizen. Country who doesn't have proper government, and representative parliament whose job is spend our taxes for having fun and shopping abroad. Yes, you maybe say, "Hey, never ask what your country has given to you, but think what you have given to your country", but I don't care. I live here, I work here, I work in government body, I pay taxes to country. Would it be too much, if I ask few kindness from my own country?

Anger and Impatience

2010-09-20T14:17:00.000+07:00

Should know from beginning, that anger and impatience wouldn't bring any good to our life, but sometimes, in meantime, although we never mean it, it happens. For example, today. I am a kind of people who always complain when Monday comes, hopes that weekend could be little bit longer, and hard to move my body out off bed, because of cold weather and comfort blanket. Imagine how lazy I am today, very not in good mood, and suddenly something's going wrong with my netbook. I don't know what happen, my netbook keeps restarting on and on. It's annoying, my boyfriend just purchased it three days ago, now, we've already faced problems? So, I start to find someone to blame, and there he is. Okay, he is the one who purchased it, but maybe, who knows? There is always one in a million chance that you are given bad product, but it's not his fault. But all I think is, Oh my God, how could he be so sloopy, and didn't check the product first? So, I become angry, and angrier when I found that I've lost the task I've done before.

He says he's worried, and will try to come back to my place to see what's wrong with my netbook. I say no, but he insists. Now, he aren't able to be contacted, and I feel so much guilty. Where are you exactly?

So, see, once again my emotion beats me. I should think logically,not release irrational rage. At least, rage only bring regret to me.

One More...

2010-09-06T10:36:00.002+07:00

... good news. My friend from Jeddah has already told me that she's finally pregnant. Alhamdulilah ya Allah, but why do I feel, there are many lucky and happy couple around me? No, I am happy enough, living my personal life, but it feels like something should be changed...

White Wedding

2010-09-02T19:23:00.001+07:00

Feel nice to know that I still have some spare times to update a little bit post here.

So, here it is. One of my friends is getting married. Make it two. She will get married with one of my close friend too. :)

I am glad. Relief. If only you knew how he was struggling to get her heart, maybe you're going to give him standing ovation. How come? The girl always refuse, say no, even ask him to get away from his life, but no, no, the boy kept insisting (in good way, of course), waited patiently, until now..

Hmm.. I always love happy ending, don't you?

So, when will my time come? I hope as soon as possible. Somehow, I used to think a lot, how can we afford a party, or get life after marriage. What will we do if we are separated because of our job, and do we have any choice to solve expense problem. We save, but still there are a lot things to be thought. Where are we gonna stay? When will we have a baby? Should we plan it or just let it happen?

But sometimes, I think the opposite. Why it took so many consideration? Why can we go on and let Allah do the rest? Human make efforts, but finally God will decide. At least we're trying, aren't we?

Let time answers. And when the answer comes, I do hope it'll be best answer for all of us. :)

Uncomfort Zone

2010-08-30T20:13:00.000+07:00

Now I suddenly feel like life's stabbing me from the back. Time besieged from all directions, exhausting, asphyxiating. I often find myself mad at something unreal, gloomy every seconds, and sometimes it's really hard to define happiness. Have you ever wanted to exchange your life, into a totally different life? Wanted to be surrounded by someone else that you are not familiar with, and having contrast life from what you're having now? Imagine that you're someone else, with other identity, other family?

I can't imagine that I have this feeling now,when I am near with my family. Sometimes your closest people can turn become stranger, that maybe will be your nightmare. You are supposed to be safe, comfortable, but all you want to do is get out of here. You feel that you don't belong to here. Then you start to think how to make time flies fast, how to spend more times outside home, and how can you bring your beloved one near to you, so you can bring your comforts back.

Here, supposed to be my comfort zone, but I feel the way around.

Reminding You..

2010-07-28T04:20:00.000+07:00

...to join my giveaway as soon as possible!! It's almost July 30th, readers, and I'll close the answers until that date. So, if you're interested, CLICK, CLICK!!!!

Night Intense

2010-07-13T21:54:00.000+07:00

Suddenly i feel strong power encouraging me to write this night. Honestly, I have no idea what to write, and I am too busy to prepare for exam tomorrow, but the power has been so intense lately, so I give up, and start writing.

I miss Yogya. When did last time I visit there? A year ago? Two years ago? Yogyakarta will always be my favorite holiday spot. I always feel kind of eternal tranquility just with entering the town. Even when I was just sitting and enjoyed windy weather, I could smell nice and exotic-scented around me. Yogya's surroundings is calming me. Never too old. Never too crowd. Never be bored.

Mom, I miss you like crazy. My perfect fan, best friend, half of my life. Life's getting hard, mom. On and on. Being far with you is always be hardest part in my life. I always miss the time when I can lean on your shoulder, hug you, kiss you. How I miss your talkative talks, your strong thoughts. It's me mom, trying to make you proud. Always. I know, I'll never could stand up for these whole time if you weren't there for me. But, there you are. Happy and sad. Far or near. I love you, I love you, I love you, Mom. Let's fighting together, Mom.

Grandma, yesterday I was dreaming of you. It's been long time since you visited me in my last dream. How are you, Grandma? Are you happy with timeless life? Does He keep you well? I believe He does, for a sweet and nice grandma like you were. Sometimes I was remembering time we had spent together. They were beautiful, weren't they? But, sometimes I regret because you can't see me growing up. That's what you always want to do right? See your grandchildren growing up, graduating, married, and starting new life. I really, really, really hope you are able to see me passing those phases. I really wish you could see me on my wedding days. Taking care of my pregnancy. Accompanying me on my delivery date. You were so good on those things, even better than mom. :) How could I do it without you? But I believe you are happy now Grandma. See you later, I love you so much, so deep.

Different Perspective

2010-07-03T21:44:00.000+07:00

It's nice when I am able to spare sometimes for just sitting in front of my laptop, writing something while accompanying my boyfie watching Germany vs Argentina. I am on Germany team, of course, but too nervous to watch it by myself, scared if my favorite team lose, so I order my boyfie to watch it for me, although he is on Argentina team. :)

My life is okay. Rushing, yes. But I am happy. Meet many new friends, learn new things.

I'll tell you something. Some of my friends regret my decision to start working here. Just because it's totally different from my major. Well, if I don't appreciate them, maybe I'll just go and say, "Mind your own business, please." But, they are my friends. And I love them. so here it is, from the deep of my heart.

I have no regret in my life. For choosing this job. I believe life is learning process. It's a honor for me to be given chance for learning something new. And I believe, any major we've chosen, any lesson we've studied, and wherever you applied it, it'll be good for you if you do it completely. Sincerely. There no wasted knowledge. If I were cumlaude on my major, then I decide to be a house-wife, it doesn't mean I neglect my title, right? we have our own role, different in good way. So, maybe we have own perspective to see it, but you must know it. I never regret it. :)

July is finally coming!! Hehehe, July is my favorite month of the year. I love it so much, so I decide to give you SEVEN free books!!! Wanna join?? CLICK HERE!!!

Too tired, too lazy

2010-06-16T19:59:00.000+07:00

No, I am not doing any hiatus or anything similar, but actually I am having my busiest week ever after two months of "vacation time" at home. It's been a week, and I can say that I should get my body adapting to my new condition.
First adaptation is getting busy of course. No infotainment time (but still I know what's going on between Ariel, Luna, and Farhat Abbas. And by the way, I miss watching Luna Maya on TV). No internet time (almost, I still able to steal time with my mobile). Well, I miss tweeting. I miss reading everyone's blab. I miss blogwalking. And I miss writing.

OK, I'll tell you. I am now officially employed! Hahahaha.. finally after two months of seeking. Well, this is my second company, so without underestimating my first company, I'll start making comparison. It's kinda hard, because my education background is completely different, so I have to begin all, everything from very first beginning, but it's alright. Learn something new, it's tiring, but honestly I don't even think that it'll be very interesting. Satisfied for this result, I'll try to get my best in my position now.

Can't talk much, because I have to prepare for tomorrow exam. Yes, exam, like old days, college days. But, once again, it's very interesting. Wait until I tell you more.
I'll visit your blog as soon as I have enough time. I predict that I'll be busy in next 2 weeks, so if I don't read yours, please apologize me. I promise, I'll come soon.

I miss you all. How's your life going? I wish you enjoy life. :)

X,
Dela

Disappointing Part of GSS Race

2010-06-02T14:03:00.001+07:00

So, maybe some of you had heard that Diana Rikasari and Hanzky from Fashionese Daily are Indonesia's representative to participate in Great Singapore Sale Shopping Challenge in Singapore of course. I am a bit lazy to describe the mechanism, but you can read about it here and here.

What makes me so upset is when I read @fashionesedaily timeline at the race day. It mentioned about unfair play, cheating part, and incomplete solution. But, there was no more explanation, so I waited impatiently until both of Diana and Hanzky came back to Jakarta, and explain what had occurred there.

Uh-oh. It's really annoying. I won't tell full story here, but you can read it from Diana's blog and Fashionese Daily. Read it. I am suggesting you to read it. I can even feel their upset, anger, and sadness.

Well, for you, I really hope you can spread this story. You can write in blog, twitter, facebook, or other media. We have to prove that we are not weak country, whether it doesn't only related to Indonesia as one of participant, but the other participants who have followed race fairly. So, if you are person with integrity, honesty, and morality, please feel kindly to spread about the story. :)

ZARA raise MALICE?

2010-06-01T09:42:00.000+07:00

too lazy to write in English, what would you say if now I am writing in Bahasa?

Gapapa ya, sekali-kali. :)

What's life, what's life? Mine is gorgeous. Thanks God for blessing me every day, for giving me time to living my life well and appreciating every breath that I take. I really know that You won't let me down, will you?

(Tuh kan, balik lg ke English. Plin-plan deh gw)

Jadi gini. Kemarin waktu gw browsing suatu brand yang lumayan ternama di negeri kita ini, okelah gw sebut aja, tapi bukan iklan, ZARA, gak sengaja Google membawa gw ke thread di salah satu forum yang lumayan ternama juga di negeri kita. Judulnya yang catchy, dan ditulis dengan huruf kapital semua makin membuat gw penasaran. ZARA = PEMBODOHAN KONSUMEN.

??? Makin penasaran, gw buka thread itu, baca satu persatu posting dan replynya. Intinya, orang yang buka thread itu (istilahnya apa sih, gw belum terlalu familiar) berkata kalo ZARA Indonesia itu:

1. Absurd. Karena waktu ada sale, pihak tokonya menutup semua fitting room, dan tidak mengizinkan setiap orang masuk dan mencoba barang yang akan dibelinya.

2. Salenya adalah baju sisaan DUA musim lalu. Sedangkan si penulis bilang dimana-mana kalo sale itu harusnya LAST SEASON, bukan LAST TWO SEASONS.

3. Salenya tetap mahal. Misal dari 299.000 hanya turun ke 229.000 saja.

4. Terlalu diagungkan kalo di Indonesia. Menurut pengalaman penulis yang pernah di Belanda, disana lapak ZARA berada di basement apartement orang, bukannya di mall mewah seperti di Indonesia.

Lalu gw baca replynya lagi, dan makin mengerutkan kening. Ada yang bilang Zara itu produk jelek, lebih baik beli produk Indonesia. Ada yang bilang kalo konsumen Zara itu bodoh, karena hanya mengutamakan brand saja. Ada juga yang berpendapat para pemakai ZARA gak usah songong, karena sebenarnya di luar itu produk ZARA adalah barang murahan. Bahkan disetarakan dengan Ramayana di Indonesia.

Langsung sisi evil gw mencuat. Hehe, mungkin opini gw bakal sedikit parah, tapi ya ini yang gw pikirin waktu pertama baca thread itu. Gw sih setuju sama poin nomer satu, dimana sedikit keterlaluan kalo tidak mengizinkan konsumen untuk menggunakan fitting room, meskipun dalam keadaan sale. Gw juga amat sangat setuju bahwa sebaiknya kita membeli produk Indonesia. Gw suka Zara lho, jangan salah, tapi gak memaksakan aja untuk beli walaupun affordable. Toh, kalo sepatu gw lebih suka eye-ing ke Wondershoe. Murah, produk dalam negeri.

Tapi makin ke bawah, gw makin menemukan komentar-komentar yang amat sangat menyudutkan, bahkan cenderung menjelek-jelekan. Gw bukan penggemar forum sih, jadi gak begitu terbiasa dengan bahasanya. Mungkin memeng bahasa yang dipakai seperti itu, gw gak tahu. Tapi sepertinya makin lama thread ini makin gak fair buat Zara. Dan beberapa brand lainnya yang tersebut. Intinya penyerangan satu arah.

Bisa dilihat pola pikir kebanyakan orang, yang masih terlihat picik menurut gw. Oke, itu kan pendapat mereka, gw hargai, tapi gw juga mau menyuarakan pendapat gw. Gw gak bela Zara lho, jangan salah, tapi kalo kasarnya gw bilang, "Kalo misalnya gak bisa beli, ya gak usah beli. Jangan berakhir dengan menjelek-jelekan merk seperti Zara. Kalo misalnya gak affordable, ya cari aja barang buatan dalam negeri yang sesuai dengan kantong kita. Jangan paksa beli barang bermerk pada waktu sale, dapet produk yang gak sesuai, dan pada akhirnya misah-misuh gak keruan di thread."

Manusia kurang bersyukur dengan apa yang dia miliki. Selalu melihat ke atas, melihat pada barang yang tidak dimiliki, dan akhirnya berujung pada rasa iri. Dengki. Dan pada akhirnya, cara yang pas untuk menyalurkan kedengkian itu adalah dengan menjelek-jelekan sesuatu yang tidak tercapai itu.

Gw sendiri suka melakukannya. Iri sama orang yang bisa beli sepatu jutaan. Dan kadang-kadang membatin, "Buset, satu sepatu bisa gaji gw setaon." Tapi pada akhirnya, gw inget, they do have the money, and their way to splurge it. Salah bagi kita kalo menjudge orang dari sejumlah uang yang dikeluarkannya. Dia beli tas 10 juta, mungkin juga dia mengeluarkan 10 juta untuk sedekah misalnya. We'll never know.

Intinya, gak usah deh sirik-sirikan sama orang. Dengki gak bawa hasil kok, apalagi sampe menjelek-jelekan sesuatu. Kalo memang gak suka, biarkan orang lain menyukai dengan caranya sendiri. Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, kan? :)

Jadi ngelantur kemana-mana. Parah gw kalo uda cerita. Yah, silakan deh dimaknai dengan persepsinya masing-masing. :)

Is it too shallow if I am discussing about SHOES?

2010-05-22T20:16:00.000+07:00

Is it? well, I actually didn't care. Maybe I am not fashion admirer, I never been into it, but one thing I obviously realize. I LOVE SHOES. Oh my God, I feel so happy if surrounded by beautiful shoes. I know you are too, ladies. Say yes, please?

From many kinds of shoes, wedges, espadrilles, slingback, flats, mary jane, what i love most is peep toe. It's a kind of shoes with open-pointy shape in the finger. Of course with heels, because I have short body. Back to peep toe, it feels so comfortable, and most of my collections are peep toe. I don't have any closed pumps. Can say that I hate closed one. It makes my feet breathless, sweating, I hate it.

So, what if one day, one of my HRD officer says that I might not able to wear any peep toe again, and I HAVE TO wear closed pumps? Well, chaos. Maybe, for you, it's not a big deal, but I really could feel discomfort even when I haven't used it.

So, yesterday me and my boyfie went to nearest mall to find a nice shoes. closed one, of course. It didn't go easy, because I was too picky, and still I can' take it. Hell. Walking, searching, fitting, one by one, on and on. After few hours, I found a pair of cute pumps, it was so simple, made from leather, it was brown, one of my favorite color. And, weirdly cozy and fits for me. Instantly, I fell in love with it. Felt glad because finally I found match one, I asked a shopkeeper to bring me its pair, so I could fit both.

Oh, I really wish I could tell happy ending. I was happy, so happy, but suddenly the shopkeeper came and told me that they didn't have its pair. Oh, what the hell? I mean, how come they don't have its pair??? Hello, how come? It really disappointed me, and well, I felt very upset. My boyfie soon found another black pumps, but I didn't even care. Oh, and that night, I had a dream about the shoes.

Hahaha. Ridiculous. I even didn't love closed pumps before, but now I am getting upset, very annoyed, because of not getting this shoes? Ahahahaha, should I say that woman's heart is easily changing if it is related with fashion? :)

Dear God

2010-05-14T09:00:00.000+07:00

Thanks you. Sorry, sometimes I forget to be grateful for my blessed life. Everything were inappropriate, and I felt incomplete. I forgot of You. You give me very nice life. Maybe I don't have perfect family, but You give me best mother in the world, who always love me unconditionally. I don't have a lot of best friends, but some of them are so caring. You still give me time to breath, time to live, time to think how lucky I am. Sometimes, I envy with other people, who are wealthier, prettier, happier. I forget that happiness is coming from inside of us. And, prettiness, we all have it, right? We are most perfect creatures that You have ever made. And, we should take a look to people among us, who still have difficulty in financial, if we talk about money.

I still learn to love my life, indeed. I won't pretend that sometimes I questioned my life. Why this, why that? But, that's human. I am trying to be satisfied with all of this God, but please apologize me, sometimes I think it's not enough. I want more. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate of your gift, but I really want better life. Is it wrong, God?

Sometimes, I feel so sad. I don't understand with these whole life things. Why should it happen to me? Is it mean that I blame you, God? Sorry, I really never mean it. Maybe, I am required to be remind. That we can't always get what we want in life.

Whatever it is, God, I really thank that You give me very grateful mother. She teaches me about powerful praying. She always believe that You will give the best for our life. She believes that You love me. I love You, God. And I still learn to love You more than everything in the world.

God, thank you for still accompanying me for this time.

Are You Out of Mind???

2010-05-04T18:00:00.001+07:00

I was so annoyed when I was watching evening news today. I really expect DPR could do better then spending a lot of money for constructing new building. 1.8 trillions! What ashamed! I mean, there are many homeless people outside there, what have they done about it? Disaster in Porong, Sidoarjo, which haven't been completed until today. And, houses, which are destroyed by meteor in Duren Sawit Jakarta? They even have no idea where to ask some compensations. As people's representative, I am not pretty sure they have idea of things that should be prioritized.

And, when a reporter interviewed one of DPR's member, he only said, "The old building doesn't have appropriate bathroom. We have problems to take a bath when we sleepover here." WTH? You think it's hard for taking a bath, Mister? You have problems of it? Be grateful, you still can use clean water, you even don't have to work hard for getting it. You just open water faucet, and here they are. Think of other people, YOUR PEOPLE, who must walk miles for gaining clean water. Have you thought about them, Mister? Before you spend trillions to simplify you for bath, please think about those people.

By the way, I remember a TV program, called "Tukar Nasib". In this program, rich people should live poor people's live, and vice versa. I really hope, maybe producer of this will kindly engage some of DPR member to follow this show. Maybe, it'll open their eyes. Or not. I don't know.

Paris van Java, I am coming!

2010-04-29T10:16:00.002+07:00

A month ago, I went to Bandung for having a vacation. Too bad, I just have chance to share with all of you now. It really helped me to refresh my mind, you should do it too! I made no plan, just suddenly decided to go.

These are some pictures of my trip. well, notice it, i am not smart in photography, i have no idea about photos editing, so apologize if you see many shortages in them. It's just for fun!

Yummmmmy one! Actually, I doubt its taste til I smell its sweet-flavor. Hmm.. We were having this one in Istana Plaza, Bandung.

My bestie, Wulan, who just graduated from college. This trip was like celebrating her graduation. Congrats her! We went to Paris van Java, and decided to give a try with Sushi Groove. Never been before. Actually, they didn't disappoint us, besides an accident include seasonings there. Too embarrassing if I should tell you here. So, let it be me and Wulan's secret forever! :)

After we had enough, we went to Blitz Megaplex for watching Dear John, a movie, played by Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. Pretty impressive, especially in Channing's role. Oh, ladies, we all love Channing, don't we? *wink*

Night was coming, and we headed toward Ngopdul, a coffee shop, which located in Dipati Ukur. Rain felt down rapidly, we were tired, so we didn't take many picture there. But, one I remember, I love its chicken wings! (oh, c'mon, to be frank, I love chicken wings, wherever they're served! :) )

I was enjoying those moments, and having some fun! And, I can't wait to do it again! How do you think, Wulan? :)

Anyway, have you had such as enjoyable vacation? Do share with me, if you have place that you think people should be going to!

Big Spender

2010-04-26T14:41:00.004+07:00

Why do I love shopping so much? Mostly, every girls love to shop, but I feel like uncontrolled in it. I love seeing cute things, petite cardigan, colorful legging, leather bag, and shoes…. Oh, I adore shoes a lot! High heels, wedges, flats, and now I am drooling only by thinking of them.

And books… well, it sounds nerd, I know, but I can’t handle if it involved to books. I have a thousand reasons to allow myself purchasing some books.

Well, I’ve been in love with shopping since I was in college, but with limited pocket money, I should be a smart spender. I was thrifty back then, so I could save some of my money. But, when I was employed, and had my own money, I was like, “Finally, I have my money to shop! My own money!” And I became irresponsible with that. I bought all things that I could afford back then. I became bad saver.

I feel sorry for that. I supposed to save my money. Well, I reserve to have some fun, but it’s too much. I am blinded with my own world. Maybe it’s hidden desire, which have existed from my college time. I don’t know.

Girls out there, do you feel the same? Please say yes to make me better! Or, maybe you can suggest some ideas to make me become smart spender?

One of Kartini named Casseybunn

2010-04-21T16:37:00.000+07:00

Hello, readers!
for all my friends in Indonesia, I'd like to say

Selamat Hari Kartini!

Let us struggle to be bravest women who can develop Indonesia and make it better country!

One of my project for this day is interview some young authors. I've finished one. Maybe, you've known Cassandra Niki, well-known as Casseybunn. She is a great blogger, talented photographers, and now a writer. I had an interview with her, and you can read full interview here!

Top Five of Everything!

2010-04-15T18:59:00.001+07:00

Books

1. The Pillars of the Earth, Ken Follet.

2. Alchemyst series, Michael Scott.

3. Godfather, Mario Puzo.

4. Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins

5. Shopaholic series, Sophie Kinsella

(Funny to see Harry Potter and Twilight aren’t included into this list. Well, IMHO, they both are good, but not excellent enough to be five highest ranks. And, I don’t mean to be conceited by not involving Indonesian writer. If there is 6^th rank, I’ll put Perahu Kertas by Dewi Lestari there.)

Movies

1. Trilogy of Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson.

2. Trilogy of Godfather, Francis Ford Coppola.

3. Green Mile, Frank Darabont.

4. The Little Mermaid, Ron Clements & John Musker.

5. 50 First Dates, Peter Segal

(I really love trilogy, don’t I? And, yes, I love Little Mermaid. We all love Disney, who on earth doesn’t? Ariel is my favorite princess anyway. And no, I don’t like Indonesian movies. Well, some of them are great, but…well…err… too much for me, I think.)

Websites, Blogs

1. MINDCUBE and BOOKS of DELA.

2. thepradonos.com

3. The Blog of Cassey Bunn.

4. Ki Hadjar They Want To Rock.

5. Sea of Shoes.

(I don’t mean to be so narcissist! I really love my own blogs; they are real description of me. And, surprisingly, four of them are Indonesian blog!)

Twitter Account

1. @deelestari (Dewi Lestari)

2. @AdaDiskon (Ada Diskon)

3. @PreventionIndo (Prevention Indonesia)

4. @anjinggombal (Anjing Gombal)

5. @fiksimini (Fiksi Mini)

(Hooray, all of them are from Indonesia!)

Places

1. Toba Lake, North Sumatera.

2. Safari Park, Cisarua West Java.

3. Kuta Beach, Bali.

4. Mirota Shop, Yogyakarta.

5. Putrajaya, Kuala Lumpur.

(I don’t travel a lot, though I want to. But, Alhamdulillah, I’ve given chances to visit beautiful places above. Criteria for picking up these high-fives are comfort, beauty, desirability to returning a visit.)

Foods and Drinks

1. Ice cream!!! Whatever its brand.

2. Strawberry.

3. Whopper, Burger King.

4. Elle & Vire yoghurt.

5. Cimory Fresh Milk.

(Well, I am eating a lot, so it’s kinda hard to write this list. I love many kinds of food, I eat everything! Hope I don’t embarrass myself by confessing it.)

Figures, Idols, Persons

1. Mommy.

2. Wulan Indraswati

3. Rohadi Yusuf

4. 134 people from 2004s civilian.

5. Blogger friends!!!

(The first person is my mom, who has taught me about how hard life is. She’s most precious things on earth for me. Second, my best friend, Wulan; she has accompanied me since we were little kids. Third is my boyfie. And, forth, I can’t pick one of them! To be frank, I wasn’t that close with all of them, I’ve just befriended close with several people. But, after all, they’re special on their on way; make each other strong, different in good way. Fifth, of course all of you who are reading this post! I love you!)

Godfather + Anji + KD + Sailormoon = Absolutely Fun!

2010-04-14T15:08:00.008+07:00

In case you are wondering, what I have done in my free time, moreover I still be unemployed, and everyday is kind of holiday for me. Well, it can be uninteresting for you, but I find these latest day are pleasurable. It will sounds excessive for you, but trust me, I never felt so much freedom as I do now. As much as I have sacrificed some precious things, but it feels doesn’t matter anyway for me now.

I am reading a lot now. I was a bookworm earlier than, but time constraint always bounds me. Now, I feel like reading all the time. Fictional ones like The Sorceress and Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland. Comics, I was re-reading all series of Sailormoon. I also love some chicklit, I read Andrei Aksana’s Janda-Janda Kosmopolitan, I actually rarely find fine Indonesian writer, but he’s one of them. Never fond of his books before, it’s a way too melancholic to me, but after he wrote Pretty Prita, I change my perspective. He’s funny, and I don’t know how, he seems to understand what every women want. Kavita Daswani, who creates The Village Bride of Beverly Hills, is excellent writer anyway. Google her, if you have any idea. And, I have addicted to The Godfather recently. I’ve read it for I don’t know, so many times, and I desire to find other Mario Puzo’s book. But, I found that they are out of order, so maybe anyone can help me to find these books? Q.E.D and C.M.B is two of excellent comics that I’ve noticed. Thank for Julian, who has introduced me to Motohiro Katou sooner than in my high school! 

This book teaches me a lot! Read for review, here!

Who says comic is time-waster? You'll learn a lot from it!

I watch a lot of movies. I hunt for old movies; last one I watch is Ten Things I Hate About You. A teen flick, but entertaining one. Maybe, it was first appearance of Heath Ledger, am I right? He’s so young there! But, absolutely charming with his long curly hair! *screaming* And, I went gaga when one day my boyfie came, and brought me trilogy of Godfather! Oh, I really want this! I spent about 9 hours to watch this movie, without pause. It’s as colossal as its book, no regret! Young Al Pacino is terrific handsome, and Marlon Brando is obvious majestically playing his Don role. Maybe, this is one of best movie I ever seen. I repeat, maybe these are THREE best movies I ever seen. 

Michael Corleone and Patrick Verona, hmm..

I am writing a lot. Some people told me that I’m talented in this field, and I was flattered. I am writing for fun, and I enjoy it. Latterly, I take pleasure in reviewing books. I love both reading and writing, so why can’t I compile it? Maybe I am not good reviewer, I haven’t. Maybe, someday I will. But, today, I have much satisfaction by interlacing friendship with other reviewers. Who says Indonesia is lack for reading interest? I find many people are deeply in love with books, and trying to spread it via blog, or twitter. I am on my way doing that. If you’d like to know better about me and my reviewer friends, visit Books of Dela. Sometimes, we arrange free book giveaway, it is good start for loving books, right?

Cera, who always accompanying me all the time, when I was writing..

Some of personal journals. Yes, I love write my diary!

I am taking physical exercise!! I remember, I was complaining a lot about time limitation for taking some sports when I still worked at project. It’s not a lie, or spoiled protest, what happened is I REALLY HAVE NO TIME. Some of my friends suggest taking exercises in the morning, but sometimes I prefer longer sleep because of my overtime works a night before. Maybe, it’s just an excuse, but the truth is I’ve got to work too on Saturday, even sometimes on Sunday. So glad, now I can do my exercise, though it’s only walking, running, or jumping around my house. LOL. I am not the one who really fond of sports, so please don’t tease me. Or, maybe you have any alternative sports for sport-hater like me?

Running shoes!

Well, I do lot things beside what I’ve told you above. I am going to take TOEFL in the end of April, so now I am re-reading my TOEFL practice book. Kind of hard in listening session, but I still work hard on it. And, oh, I watched gossips too! It’s confessing time, don’t you think? A bit low, but it’s funny how we stare at late confession of a band vocalist about his daughter from well-known actress (which is too late, in my humble opinion, please for God Sake, where have you been in previous 9 months??? And, how could you daringly mention how gentleman you are?? Well, gentleman never impregnate woman before marrying her. Oh, of course, it’s only my opinion. ). And a diva’s late statement about her relationship with married entrepreneur. It’s not even surprising me.

Ah, however, how’s your life lately? I do hope you enjoy it, we only have it once in your life! No matter if you stray from a path, anyway who decides our life path? We are! 

2010-04-08T14:27:00.000+07:00

I was less idea for this moment, but proudly I present you MAGICAL GIVEAWAY!

VISIT HERE!

Dream!!!!

2010-03-22T14:31:00.002+07:00

Here I am. Jobless. Do you believe that we have to adapt from multiple kinds of business to none to do? Maybe, you'll imagine a free and enjoyable day, where you can spend beautiful day with a lot daydreaming and heavy sleeping. Oh, yes, I was pleased to say that I already had this day. But, somehow, you'll feel kinda boring, isn't it?

So, I think, what should I do next? Should I open my past dreams, and think to reach them? It's kinda hard, tough, feels like opening Pandora box, full of regrets, and trashes. when I decided to open it, there were many sorry in my heart, regret why I didn't do it long time ago.

And, still after having quarter century of life, I was anxious of my decision. What do exactly I want, whether it's all my opinion, or affected by someone else. Can you imagine, that even I'm hardly trusting myself? It's real crisis, I think. I am here, no one can help but me. It's the time, when i must be mature, i couldn't whim to my mom, like I always do.

So, I say to myself, be brave! you have nothing to lose, and this is your life. whatever your parents said, the decision is all yours, and none should affect it. I was into my greatest fear, being failed people. But, nothing bad being failed, if it was first step to our success, right?

I am going to take some scholarships. I am interested to continue my master. Why not? Learning is process, and we do it during our life. I am still young, and there are a lot things to learn. I must search scholarship, cause I don't think I could afford the tuition fee, but I'll try to pursue it. You live your life once time, it's not wise if you're not bold to take a different step in your life. Changes are needed, and I'd like to do it. There's nothing impossible, if you have an ambition!! Rrrr.. am I sounds like a motivator or something??

:)
No, I just try to tell you what I feel. Everyone, let us pursue or dream!! :)

It's really magic!

2010-03-06T21:36:00.003+07:00

What magic?
it's what internet and technology bring to us!

I can say, I have to make big decision in my life, I'll never do it before. Maybe, I'll quit from my job, because I felt tired, powerless every time. Some loyal readers must understand, how much time should I spend every day, and weekend, just for working. So, I decide, yes, I need time for myself, and this is it! Be bold, be brave! And, for you, who's still anxious about my job, you can see here for information. :)

And, the magic is.. not my braveness, or something, but I had received some nice comments in this blog and my Facebook accounts. My last two post is exactly tell what I felt, and here they come. From nowhere, suddenly, i read many nice replies, nice suggestion, which even makes me cry. :) I even don't know them face to face, but after all, they were there. They read my writings, and thanks God, they put their selves in my shoe. I am a bit confuse, why some of unknown people could be so friendly, but my own trust-able friends become so annoying.

Well, it's technology! Never feel so connected til know, and i am really grateful about that. Thanks for your caring and attention. You can open my blog, read, and just go away, but instead you share your minutes to keep a good comment here. You have no idea how it means to me. Sweet! :)

So, readers, if I say your comments make my day, it really is. I hope you never get bored. wish me luck, and hope you have great life! See you!!

Apologize part.2

2010-03-06T11:00:00.000+07:00

Berat. Berat banget. Keputusan ini gak gw ambil dalam semalam dua malam aja. Makanya gw gak terima kalau ada orang-orang yg bilang ini adalah pikiran kekanakan gw saja. Hey, I am growing up! Gw udah memikirkan baik buruknya, konsekuensi yg harus gw terima. Once again, freedom always comes with a price. Mungkin yang terburuk adalah pikiran orang lain yang mengatakan bahwa gw kekanakan. Childish. Atau yang bilang gw lari dari perjuangan. Pengecut. Coward.

Gw gak menyalahkan. Mungkin gw pengecut. Penakut. Ada orang-orang yang bilang kalo gw terlalu childish, masih butuh waktu banyak untuk main, yang otomatis terenggut di saat gw di proyek. Oh, iya. Gw dengan tegas menyatakan, iya, gw butuh waktu lebih banyak buat gw. Gw pingin weekend gw bisa dihabiskan dengan keluarga. Gw pingin punya waktu buat istirahat, nonton, nulis jurnal pribadi gw, bukannya langsung tidur begitu nyampe rumah karena kelelahan. Gw pingin bisa shopping, tanpa harus lewat online shop. Gw pingin bisa olahraga lagi tiap malam. At least, gw pingin istirahat dengan tenang kalo lagi sakit. Bukannya ditelpon, dan didesak-desak masuk kantor.

Gw banyak mau? Yes, I am! Why not? I deserve better. Gw trus memikirkan ini. Banyak orang di sekitar gw, yang nggak puas dengan pekerjaannya, gaji yg nggak sesuai dengan gilanya waktu kerja, tapi tetap nggak bisa bergerak, karena mereka gak punya pilihan lain. Gw salut, karena gw pasti gak tau apa yg harus gw lakuin, seandainya gw punya tanggung jawab besar terhadap keluarga seperti mereka. Akankah gw seberani ini dan memutuskan untuk pergi?

Kalau menjadi dewasa artinya memutuskan untuk TIDAK mengikuti kata hati, maka saat ini juga gw memutuskan tidak mau dewasa. Gw cuma berharap, setiap orang mau menerima keputusan yang gw buat. It's hard, man! Apa lo gak pikir kalo gw juga menyimpan perasaan bersalah ke semua orang yang gw tinggalin disana?

Seriously, i've never made such a big decision until now. Semua pendapat gw denger, gw masukin ke pertimbangan. Tapi sekali lagi, ini hidup gw. Please, hargai keputusan gw.

Dan, buat teman-teman yang terus bertahan, gw akan selalu berdoa. Kita sama-sama tau perjuangan masing-masing, pengorbanan waktu hanya untuk memenuhi tanggung jawab kepada keluarga. Orang-orang disekeliling gw adalah pahlawan. Meninggalkan anak yang sakit, istri yang sedang hamil tua adalah pemandangan yang biasa disini. Dan jujur, gw gak mau itu terjadi dalam hidup gw. So, let me say, move on.

Apologize

2010-03-04T16:47:00.002+07:00

First, I'd like to apologize because this post will be written in Bahasa.

Akhirnya gw mencapai limit yang menurut hati dan pikiran gw adalah yang termaksimal.Selama 5 bulan ini, gw sudah mencoba bersabar dan beradaptasi dengan pekerjaan gw yang baru. Gw tau dari awal kalo pekerjaan gw gak mudah. Bagaimanapun lingkungan proyek, dimana populasi cewek sangat minim (di posisi gw,malah hanya ada gw sendiri), jam kerja yang panjang (believe it or not, sehari gw bisa kerja kurang lebih 15 jam), kehilangan waktu weekend (sabtu minggu gw jg masuk),dan kerjaan yg indescribable, gak bisa cocok dengan gw.

no, gw ga bicara gender. Yes, I am woman, but i do believe many females could do anything harder than me now. Masalahnya, gw gak happy. Sesimple itu. Gw memang orangnya selalu sulit adaptasi tapi kali ini I've tried. At least for 5 months.

dan pada akhirnya gw ga menemukan alasan untuk tinggal. Kalaupun ada alasan, itu adalah temen-temen kerja gw yg begitu menakjubkan. Gw sayang mereka semua. Setiap orang begitu baik, mengajari hal-hal yang gak pernah gw bayangin sebelumnya. Mereka yang menahan gw untuk tidak melakukan ini lebih cepat. dan, believe it or not, saat menulis ini dan membayangkan mereka, gw ngerasa sayaaaaang sekali. Mereka udah seperti kakak, paman,ayah,dan kakek. I'll miss them a lot.

Tapi sekali lg, walopun gw sayang mereka, tapi gw harus lebih sayang diri gw sendiri. Sampai saat ini gw masih bertanya-tanya apakah ini benar? Tapi, pada akhirnya gw harus ngambil keputusan, dan inilah keputusan gw.

Pasti banyak yang menyesali keputusan gw. Beberapa orang bilang mungkin suatu hari gw bisa mencapai posisi tinggi di proyek. Yang mereka gak tau, kalo gw gak punya ambisi untuk jadi pemimpin. Gw cuma mau jadi diri gw sendiri. bahagia. sederhana. Bisa punya waktu banyak buat diri gw sendiri..

(to be continue)

Powerless

2010-03-01T21:04:00.003+07:00

I've been thinking all day long, and found that I was lost. Maybe, sometimes, i regret it, why must i spent my young age in this suck place, did unfairness to other people, and myself. I dunno, it's annoying, but I was to scared to get out. There's so many "what if" in my mind, so I couldn't make any decisions. I wish I could be braver. Flying away from this job, and discover what exactly I wanna do.

Could you find differences between runaway for giving up and runaway for searching something better? If i leave now, do i look surrender? Do I look weak and powerless? Well, i wish i own any ideas to show my power limit, but actually i don't. I can differ if I can't resist it anymore, or it just my spoiled behavior?

I was tired, and I've been saying it loud on and on. But, why i didn't go away? Why do i stay? I don't love this, I even don't know any reason to stay. Did I afraid of matters? Money? Maybe it's true, but happiness can be bought by money, right? It's true, indeed, even most of them saying the opposite.

Trying to be happy by sharing happiness to other. I hope I can make you glad, but sometimes I couldn't hide my gloomy feelings. So sorry for this imperfection. But, readers, we're still human being, who needs to complain sometimes, right? I don't find justification, but you all must be agree, sometimes I need to spam.

It's only another ordinary day in life, nothing different, but I need one. I need a difference. It's too flat, I feel dead. Is anyone who can help me through these?

heeeeeeeeelp!

Another Announcement

2010-03-01T10:00:00.004+07:00

Hey everyone! Thanks for participating in Pick A Bag, i absolutely appreciate it. Well, actually, I've decided it, but let me tell you later. :)

Well, i'd like to share you about two great giveaway. One, held by Michelle from Glisters and Blisters, do you know this amazing fashion blog? She arrange nice giveaway, and you should join it! Free jewelry for all of you!! Further information, click here!

I am drooling! Can you see how cute this ring???

Well, another one is FREE book!! aaah.. how i love books sooooo much! I always love idea of getting free book, and this time, the nice person who giving it is Vixxio, book-store from Surabaya. If you hadn't visited them, do visit them, cause they sell used books, and you can purchase it with very berry cheap prize!

And, for free books, you can see here. I almost scream when i see Mary Higgins Clark is one of them! Oh, I love her! I always love her thriller plot, and.. oh.. i mumble too much. I'll tell about her in my book blog.

Tempting! I want this one!!! XD

So, what are you waiting for? Go get them!!

Pick A Bag!

2010-02-23T15:56:00.004+07:00

Fashion become hip in blogger world, don’t you think so? I notice, there are a loooooooooooot fashion blogger in the world. I have no clues who starts it first, but some of them are amazing. See Evita Nuh, our talented young girl, or Diana Rikasari, well-known fashion blogger who loves playing with colors. And now, like mildew, they appear one by one.
I can say, I have no passion in fashion. Don’t get me wrong, I like dress, and I love shoes very much! But, actually, I have no time for mixing and matching, creating new wardrobe from old things, and maybe recycling and designing something. I don’t have any talent. Even, actually, I write this post for asking help from all of you.
The thing is, I am not a bag-girl. Well, for me, bag is only bag, not an accessory, or something essential. I always use same bag for… I don’t know, a year or two, maybe, and now I feel requiring new one. Nah, it’s because I don’t have good taste (according to me), I’d like you to choose one of these two bags, which one do you like, please share with me in comments. I hope you could use your little time to contribute. :)

This one named Chloe from Ciciero. It's cool anyway, right?

And this purple one from Picnic Shop.

Naaah, you see my problem? I can't pick one! And, don't tell me i should buy both of them, except you maybe like to give me for free.. :p
Kidding.

Please, comment here, choose one and give me the reason! And, for most interesting comment, i'd like to give you this for FREE!

cute necklace, right??
so, please help me, i wait for your help until the end of February!

PS. Still open my giveaway until March 15. JOIN HERE!

Giveaway!!

2010-02-16T09:43:00.002+07:00

Hello readers! It nice for being here, and tell you that i am gonna arrange my first giveaway to you!

It opens internationally, all of you are invited, and i'll be glad if you can participate.

For more information, please click HERE.

please, come in. i am waiting for you! XD

Language? It's Your Choice!

2010-02-05T09:05:00.002+07:00

Language always is query for me. Particularly it is system for decoding and encoding information. What turn out to be attractive is how it be significant inheritance in our world. I used to ask around where it comes from, why is it different for an area to another. According to the National Virtual Translation Center, there are about 6,900 languages in the world, not included any dialects, or ancient ones. Amazing, right?

Well, in this era, when people can reach other side of world with one finger push, uniformity of language is really required. How can we communicate with other people, when we don’t understand their language? Fortunately, be honest I don’t know where it begins, English becomes international language. So now, there won’t be any misunderstanding, if we all use English.

Concerned with blogging issue, in my country, Indonesia, a lot of people have used English in their writings. From kids, like Evita Nuh, teenagers like Putri Erdisa, young adult like Casseybunn, even fully grown-up, like Sitta Karina. It’s everyone’s choice. Disappointingly, some people judge they don’t love their own country. They are criticized, if they don’t apply their own language, it means they don’t appreciate Indonesian as unitary language. For a while, I even have seen there are peoples leave bitter comments in their writing, curse them, and say something cynical, like why don’t you use your own language? Don’t dare to use English if you aren’t competent in it, or fix your Indonesian before using English. Like they do to him. It’s rude! I don’t think people who shout it out, even don’t have braveness to speak with other language, beside Indonesian. And, if we do mistakes, or imperfection in using English, it’s only part of our study progress, right? We’re Indonesian; we aren’t used to apply English, so it doesn’t matter if we do some mistakes, right?

I learn, you learn, we learn. We’re human, never be apart from learning process. If I have some grammar mistakes, please tell me, but not in harass words, because when you say it roughly, it signifies that you don’t recognize the value of learning.
And, once again, it’s a choice. I don’t say people who use Indonesian are worse than who use English. In blogging world, I find many great blogger, and they use Indonesia. And I love them. For real. So, it doesn’t matter what you choose, but please respect what other prefer for their life.

TGIF (Announcement for Giveaway!!)

2010-01-29T16:47:00.004+07:00

hi all, how're you doing?
i am still eventful anyway, but still, i can't refrain to inscribe any post here.
so here what i'd like to tell.

maybe, you have no ideas, but one of my passions is book. i love reading books! My mom bequeaths her reading hobby to me, she never gave me any dolls or toys when i was kid, she always brought me newspaper, magazine, and book.
so, now, i grow up with unlimited affection to books. i read fast! i used to spend a book in a day, paused only when i have to eat or bath, but now, when i am required to work, i have to minimize my reading quantity. sad, of course, but what am i supposed to do? :)
just be grateful, that i still can purchase several books in a month, though i can't afford imported ones. it's so expensive! maybe, you can tell me, where can you buy secondhand import books?
the matter is it must be exciting if i can share my intention of books to all of you. i made Goodreads account, but it seems like only few of us own it. so, i decide to create new blog, for contributing what i've read. yes, it's like book's reference, i can't describe better, maybe you should visit it.
so, here my new blog, it will contain references of my favorite book, or what i am currently reading. i plan to create some giveaways too, of course if you're interested.

so, feel free to visit below links.

http://bukubukudela.blogspot.com

there will be giveaways, free books for all of you soon, so always follow my blogs! thank you for all, and i wanna say, "Thanks God It's Friday", although i believe tomorrow isn't already a weekend for me. :)

I Win Giveaway!!

2010-01-25T14:15:00.004+07:00

yay! this morning, when i opened this blog, i found that i am the one who win her January Giveaway!
i am so excited! in fact, i never ever win any giveaways or quizzes in whole my life!
do you wanna know what i win?
here it is..

cute, isn't it?
thanks a lot for Noomie! i heart it! smooch... XXX

Sat Nite Fever!!!!

2010-01-18T10:14:00.010+07:00

Do you believe if i had to work in Saturday night?
i was on my way home from Cheese Cake Factory Tebet with my bf, we so much enjoyed time which spent there! have i told you that i really love cheese cake there? it's adorable, not too sweet, but smooth enough. :)

we chatted inside cab, and suddenly my phone was ringing, and, oh, here he was. my boss. he was a bit worried of my project condition and asked me to witness excavation's progress there. i was like, oh..well, i am on my date boss, but he insisted, and of course, it's my responsible too, so i said to my bf if he mind to accompany me there, he said yes, and there we were, continued our date in my project.
here some pics from that night.

me, actually, had created a blog to share my job, in case you are curious of what exactly am i doing for this time? so you can also visit here, if you mind. :)

funny things happened, while we're having our pizza, i asked a waitress to bring me a bottle of mineral water, and she came back with a green bottle named Equil in her tray. okay, call me hick, but i never drink such as drink all my life. So, we're debating, and bet how it's price. it's imported from Switzerland, geez, for prestige's sake, we must import "plain water" from Switzerland? okay, however, it's only worth IDR 15,000, far away from our approximation, but still, i think it's better for us, using domestic product. indeed, it is.

So, how's your Saturday night, readers? share with me, and hope you can face this Monday well, because i usually hate facing it. :)

my first time is..

2010-01-16T12:36:00.001+07:00

it’s been a while since the first time i post my writings in this e-world. I remember, first time i was creating my blog here, is when my grandmother passed away. It was shocking, cause she didn’t get sick before, and it’s awfully tearful, i was so close with her, and i didn’t get chance to meet her for last time. that year i was in college, far away from my hometown. i was successfully disoriented, feel miserable. along time before, i always write my journal in a diary, i have a big box full of my diaries, started from i was elementary school. i wrote about her over, over, and over, but still, there’s pain which left behind. and, suddenly, i came to nearest computer, and started creating new blog account. it’s my first posting, nothing inside but my grandmother.

So, there i was, start to opening my writings to everyone, whereas i always keep my writings as secret before. my diaries was totally restricted for everybody, i was so introvert, and now, i would like to start a blog? what would i share? but, however, it’s been there for two years, and i always have idea to post. :)

one times, there were so many ideas inside my heads, like it could explode anytime. even, i didn’t know what to write first, and what will follow. i wrote in hurry, afraid that everything will be lost, if i didn’t pour them soon. it’s all in my head! so, i started to make another account, to keep them tidy, and straight. i know, my archives is messy, but still, i’ve tried my best.

first, i write for myself. no matter what people say, i don’t care. i just want to write, and here it is. my writings. why then do i blogwalk there, and there, it’s all because i want to share. it’s okay, if people don’t like my idea, but i enjoy reading what they tell about life, what they do in daily life, and every creativity they make. i like to see how varied people are, how they can describe themselves in a writings, in a picture, in a blog. it’s fascinating me. some people just want to share their minds, some people give important info, some creating funny things to be enjoyed and laughed. some of them make community, where they can meet and hang out together, though they haven’t met before. see? how many things can change, just because of a writings? i’ve befriended with some nice people, maybe i won’t recognize them in real world, but who cares? their writings always make me comfortable, and it’s enough for me. they color my day, and i always treasure new things from them.

promote myself? i never have any such ideas. i visit them for giving my minds some clues for writing, and if they visit me back, it’s just a kind of them. it’s like bonus for me. i enjoy their caring, but it doesn’t mind, if they don’t same things as i do. i give comments, cause i appreciate their post. i don’t care if they don’t comment my writings, i’ve already appreciated mine. if they do, i will smile, and send big thanks, because they add appreciation to my work.

so, here, how blogging can change my world. it would never be same again. i thank for people who always keep their mind on tracks, and keep writing whatever it takes. you don’t have to create masterpiece, a simple one would make me delighted, as long as you write from your heart. never get enough, always want the best for your life, and live your life happily.

Happy Saturday, everybody! :)

note. repost from my tumblr.

Beauty Concept

2010-01-15T11:56:00.003+07:00

i had chat with my married girlfriend yesterday, and suddenly she told me that i am bit careless with my appearance. i rarely visit salon, never pay attention to any skin caring, or even follow any body training.
and, suddenly, this question appear in my mind, am i beautiful?
before this, i always have high confidence. i never aware what things i must do to take care my "beauty". i always live like this. simple. as long as i take shower every day, brush teeth, wash my hair, i already thought it's enough.
but, apparently this era has changed. so many things come up, and we must pay attention to things that we never realize. type of body caring is varied more than before, and i realize how late I am.
okay, my friends always tell me that I am funny. attractive. talented. but i wanna be called beautiful. i wanna be told pretty. let's we forget about inner beauty, in my humble opinion, inner beauty is a must! but, let's watch outside look. is it satisfying you?
i don't want to push any bad idea into your mind, i just keep writing what i feel. suddenly i want to be beautiful. i want to carry on it whatever it takes. i want to pay more attention with myself, something that i almost forget to care. don't get me wrong, i still emphasize "beauty comes from inside", but still.. please, understand it, you'll get best feeling, when someone tell you that you beautiful.

one thing we should remember.
beauty is relative. everyone have their own side of view about it. so, first, before starting my new mission of this beauty-changing, i want to grow more confidence in my mind. and heart. that if someone disagree of your beauty, it doesn't mean another one have similar thoughts. in our country, most of girls desire to have perfect white skin, but in different hemisphere, tanning black is one of most hip skin color. now, every teenagers compete to be skinny, but you have no idea, someday curvy will be trend again.
that's different for every people, every point of view has its propriety. and now, it's my turn to choose what steps would i like to take, to improve my beauty. i say improve, because i know, though sounds cliche, but every women must have their own beauty. it's fated. predestination.

so, how about you? have you ever felt lack of self confidence, like i feel now? how do you resist it?
or maybe, you have any idea of beauty concept? please share with me, i would be delighted.

tired

2010-01-13T16:27:00.003+07:00

i feel tired.
seriously.
it's actually no matter what time do i go home every day, but more to how depressed I am. am i not as strong as i think?
it isn't fair to complain, cause many people feel worse way than me, work hard for living, for everyone they love. it's unavoidable, you must ready to face it, soon or later. cause, when you're growing up, you add responsible to yourself, and make sure that life is not for YOU only, it's about everybody.

but now, all i wanna do is complain. i wanna live my live in other people's way. go home at 5, crawling under the blanket, chat with friends and family, hang out when the night comes. i hope i still have power remains at the end of the day. the fact is i am too tired to do anything in the night. go home late, bath, and turn on television, just to press the "sleep" button, not to watch it. What a miserable life, huh?

i know i must be grateful. i am lucky. more than anyone. i should be happier. so why, i always feel something lost?

he's my general super intendent. 60 years old, grandpa with two grandchildren. hard worker. often work overtime, almost everyday. no holiday for him, even on Sunday. one day, when we walked together to project at afternoon, he said to me, "Mbak, liatin deh, orang-orang mah udah pada pulang kerja.." and i was like, oh, yes, they did! and we can't do it. we can't! there's a lot of thing left behind, and what do you think if we go and left it?
he's awesome. i swear to you, he's enormous. most of my team are. :)

ps. sorry for this random post. i am on my lowest position, feel depressed with my work, failed with my outer relationship. i hope you can understand. :)

playlist

2010-01-11T16:18:00.004+07:00

readers.
it's been like forever since last time i update my song playlist. i must admit that i don't follow trends yet, i still hang to '90 music, i hear George Benson, Bad English, and Air Supply almost every day! too bad.. :(
So, i decide to get some helps from friends, who are pleased to share their favorite songs. i've already heard some of them, and fell in love.
so, consider to get these tracks.

1. Empire State of Mind (Jay Z feat Alicia Keys)
2. Trouble is A Friend (Lenka)
3. She's Like The Wind (OST (500) Days of Summer)
4. This Is Me (Demi Lovato)
5. Stay Close, Don't Go (Secondhand Serenade)
6. Try Sleeping with A Broken Heart (Alicia Keys)
7. Anna's Song (Silverchair)
8. The Man Who Can't Be Moved (The Script)
9. I See You (Leona Lewis)
10. Never Knew I Needed (Ne-Yo)
11. Two is Better Than One (Taylor Swift feat Boys Like Girls)
12. Coba Katakan (Maliq and The Essential)
13. Paparazzi (Lady Gaga)
14. Coba Bayangkan (The Dance Company)
15. Love Story (Taylor Swift)
16. Single Ladies (The Chipettes)
17. Kucinta Kau (BCL)

well, it's only some of them of course, i can't wait until i listen all of them.
and, please, if you have some favorite tracks, share with me! please, help me from this blindness! :p

PS. i love downloading some old songs that frankly i never heard before, and some cover songs. listen!
1. Jamelia - Numb (cover version from Linkin Park)
2. Evanescence - My Immortal (rock version)
3. Jesse McCartney - She's No You
4. Jackson Five - I Want You Back
5. Demi Lovato - This Is Me
6. NeYo - Miss Independent
7. Miley Cyrus - The Climb
8. Carole King feat Louise Goffin - Where You Lead
9. Steven Curtis Chapman - Remembering You

giving

2010-01-05T13:33:00.003+07:00

have you ever felt tired of what people expect from you?
perfection, completion.
but, after all, have you ever thought that maybe you are expecting more too from another. you hope more, you hope getting more.

i didn't make any resolution this year. should i?
all i wanna do is give more.
cause, real happiness is coming from giving, not taking.
it sounds cliche, but i bet you never think about it deeply.
what we ask, what we wish, what we get from another, it can be disappear fast, meaningless, even you haven't got time to enjoy the taste. but, if you give, it makes you richer, makes you meaningful, and you will sense it forever.
and, as my friend always say, "it's not about what you get, it's what you give"
yes, it is.
you won't get satisfied if you're trying to get some, you'll hope more, because we're human. we will always have passion, we're greedy.
so, we must give.

try to start first with yourself. try to give to YOU. your soul need you. to all hard-worker, give yourself some refreshing. take a book, sit beside your lovers. enjoy the time. turn off all gadgets, try not to think about work. or school assignment. exam. whatever.
if you feel enough with yourself, share it with everyone else. family. best friends. boyfriend. girlfriend. they need you. Don't put high expectation from them. you are the one who must be expected.
it's hard, cuz we used to be given. we used to be thirsty of attention. we used to think we deserve better. of course, you all deserve it, but however, think first, what have you done so you deserve it? have you done a thing?

so, now readers, let's give.
give more, hope you can get better. :)

happy nu year!

2010-01-04T13:17:00.003+07:00

it's so late!! i know, i know, while everyone were busy, posting their nu year eve, tweeting happy nu year, i was on my way home to Sukabumi, which means holiday, and tried not to connect to any account. ( i checked my facebook, once! :) )
how about resolution? i didn't create any, how lazy! :)
all i hope is everything will be going well, and i can save more. i realize, in 2009, i was a big spender, so hope this year it'll change. wish me!

2010 will be a busy year for me! it's my first day work, and i've been bugged with various questions from my superintendents. great! indeed, i prefer staying at my bed, reading Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick, which i can assure, will be next hip after Twilight Saga. don't get me wrong, i still love Cullens, but Patch with his witty attitude has made me fallen. :)
read it! i've got good reference from Sitta Karina, so believe me, you'll enjoy it.

what else, what else?
gotta back to work. see you soon. i love you..smooch!

looking back, and found so much love

2009-12-26T23:19:00.004+07:00

readers!!

it's sat nite and i do nothing except staying at home like mommy's nice girl! (yes i am home!)
well, it's kinda boring, so i decide for blogwalking, and notice that everyone (most of them) have made writing about 2009. i have thought about it, but frankly i haven't got any idea, what i must write.

2010 is nearly coming! it's scary, you know? we get older, there will be more responsible thing we face, and hope we're ready for it!
so, what should i suppose to say about 2009?
it's damn hard year. i swear, i've never been in such complicated, curious year for whole my life. i had many changes in my life. Friends, family, love.
met new things. loss the old ones.
many things that i've never imagined before. life is not constant. it changes whether you plan it or no. but, that's what we need, right? change, to get to know that you had became yourself, found whole YOU, who maybe hide behind for all this time.

but, maybe first, i really want to remember good things. i want to start new year with positive thinking, so i thing it's better if we don't look back all the negativity behind. okay, we need to look it back sometimes, but just to make sure that it won't happen again. learn from mistakes.

so, what i love from 2009.

1. i think i become bold and tough. it doesn't mean i was a spoiled girl , but a long this year, i stand my life alone. well, it's not easy. i cried, yes. i had nightmare, yes. but, as i sure, i didn't whim to my mom. i tried my best for ensuring her that i am okay living without her help. don't be wrong, i still need her. MUCH. but, however you call it, i can be autonomous. :)

2. my job. finally, i can deal with it. i start to love it, although sometimes complaining about it. and, when i got removed, and felt depressed, i think i can handle it now. sometimes i get depressed, but with my friends and family helps, hopefully, it's gonna be okay.

3. i've been inspired by someone. here she is. Cassey Bunn. i don't know exactly, i remember read her blog in late 2008. and now, it's like i am one of her fans, or maniacs maybe. i love her blog, i adore her tweets! she's kinda ordinary girl, but she often write some emotional things that makes me wow. i just can't describe it. we live in different place, different situation, but i dunno, sometimes what she say is exactly what i feel. Cassey, you're rock! visit her, maybe you're gonna like her too, readers! :)

4. I wrote a lot! it's so pleasant, coz i never gonna stop writing! i still write in diary too, things that i've been done for years, i never wanna skip a moment in my life. i hope i can wrote more, more, and more in next year.

5. having him. i don't want to explain it more, but.. yeah, having him is one of magical things of this year.

that's it.
i hope you're having great new year, wishing you all the very best things in life!
i love you, kiss!

smoooooooch!!!!!!!!

DVDs marathon again!!

2009-12-21T10:59:00.002+07:00

back to long weekend (even a bit disturbed with erection of tower crane in my project), i've been sank in dvds again.

1. Hairspray (2007)
okey, me likey this movies! i've watched it like thousand times! :) i just love its sixties style, how Nikki Blonsky sing and dance! she's just drop dead gorgeous! :) i forced my bf to watch it, and he seems like a bit sleepy, but after all he gives 8.5 from 10 for this movie! yipee! :p

2. (500) Days of Summer (2009).
my bf was officially falling a sleep when i watch it. actually, i feel curios to see it, because there's so many tweets in my timeline, share how good and touchy it is. what can i say, it's not ordinary movie. it's not love story with happy ending, but you'll not regret for watching it. so, be it.

3. The Blind Side (2009)
Having a different theme from Avatar, (yeah, i've watched it, and it was incredibly genius! i'll tell you later) i could say it's best drama movie of this year. featuring life of Michael Oher, a footbal player (yes, it is. it's based on extraordinary true story), this movie teaches us how to respect each other. i was delighted by how Touhy family accepts Michael as a part of their family.

4. The Green Mile (1999)
yes, it's our champion!!! how can i missed such as good movies! geez, this movies could make me smile and cry at the same time. i felt it has similar theme as Shawshank Redemption, and found they have same director. i can't tell you more, just watch it. you will learn about affection, love, and how miracle could happen in everywhere, even in the death row.

too bad, i couldn't find 2nd season of Veronica Mars, i'll try to search again next weekend, but i watched two other movies in cinema.

1. Planet 51 is hilarious! i couldn't stop laughing, and being grateful. i looked children everywhere, and thanked God, there are still persons who want to make them movies. they laughed out loudly, i dunno whether they understand tho movies or not. :p

2. Avatar.
it's been 10 years after James Cameron creating Titanic, and he disappears. and suddenly, he's coming back with this magical, breath-taking, awesome movie! holy, my friends keep talking about this movie in facebook, twitter, and blog, i just can't wait to watch it! :)
and..
it's wordless. i don't know words to describe it. the movie is beautiful. readers, please enter the world of Avatar! :)

and, okay, i spam. but i can't take not to write all of this. hope you're enjoying your weekend too, cause we're gonna face it again in X mas!!!

PS. you can read my late work at project at here.

sweet past.

2009-12-15T14:01:00.003+07:00

i can tell you, it's been long time since i talked about it.but somehow, i dunno why, she texted me this morning, and suddenly remind me of these sweet moments. and bitter too, of course.

well, it's about teenage fling or you can call it a crush maybe. i remember, six or seven years ago when we were in high school, still lame and frumpish, and each had big ego and fell to (thanks God) two different cute boys.

They were special for us, i think. i still remember how we were mad in love with them, and did a lot crazy things. i am a bit embarrassed we had done all those stuffs. we shared a lot of romantic but goofy words in diary, we brought a recording tape to some special events that we might meet those guys.
we were still like a teenage ones, like to flirt with handsome guys, but i dunno, at this time, it would say that we had extra loyalties for these men. we only thought about them, cried for them, sometimes went crazy because of them.
it just, like we want to be so desperate, we want to be dying, just because of them. we didn't care whether people might say we were freak. we just adores them! It were beautiful feeling, so that i can still feel the pain. love is nothing without pain, right? it makes love more beautiful, more precious.

and, you know, readers.
that time, we even didn't consider to find another guy to hang out. the other girls just make it with guys who loved them, but we just couldn't do it. we want it with them. only them!

ridiculous, i know. we were hypnotized so well. ng, even until now, i don't make sure if THEY KNOW that we have those feelings for them. we just let it flow. with no word, no farewell, no love statement.
(well, i did, exactly, but it doesn't matter yet, i won't talk about me, here)

the things is, years have gone by, i can't remember last time we meet with them. those two guys. one day, suddenly, i heard a bad news. one of them passed away. and, he is the person whom my friend crushed on. it's like, even i am not in love, or have any feeling of him, big hole came into my heart. he was my daily life then, when we still shared happiness together, how come can he go as fast as it?
i never get used of it. until now. i will get pretty shocked, if she came and opened a conversation about it. i know, we have ran our new life here, adult life, settle with it, but it's just something that you can left behind, it will always be there.

i miss those moments. i miss sneaking up, and following them right behind their back. i miss recording some foolishness (do you still keep the tape,friend?). and, i miss coming to some parties, and ignoring all the bands while we were busy wrote into our diary. it's damn pleasant!!!

i miss them. those guys. one is on heaven, one is on earth. hello guys, do you still remember us?

it's killing me!!

2009-12-14T15:44:00.004+07:00

Veronica Mars!!!!!

i dunno if i were too late to know this series, but, bye bye Gossip Girls. Veronica is coming! hehehe.. :)

it's already 14 on December. geez, what have i done, so this year had gone just as it? time flies by, so fast, it gets me breathless. what results do i get? 2010 is coming, and it scares me a bit.

everyone make their resolutions for next year. i must admit, i haven't thought about it already. should i make it? ow, i just remember that i had a 2009 resolution. maybe i should compare between them. plan and reality. yeah, i must do it.

or, maybe i shouldn't take this seriously.

anyone who finish their resolutions? can you share me some ideas that maybe should be done in 2010? :)

tumblr.

2009-12-09T13:34:00.004+07:00

i found myself creating tumblr account.
okay, maybe it's overload.
it feels like i writing all the time.
i had three blogs (one is rarely updated, sorry), Facebook account (although now i rarely update my status), twitter, and now i am creating tumblr.

really dunno exactly what's happening.
i am feeling ideas blowing up my mind. don't you understand, when you need to express something, but you can't exactly decide where to pour it up, you have no perfect places for it.
i feel it. thousand ideas is sparkling in my head, ready to be written. it just i don't think my blog here is the perfect media. so i search, search, try to find way for placing my thoughts.

is it weird, readers?

-my tumblr page-

shopping!

2009-12-07T18:11:00.004+07:00

i just wanna say, i am becoming mad, because there are lot sales around me, but i am on my effort to minimize my expenses! i want to save more, but for god sake, it means no shopping (err..okay, a bit shopping), less hang out, and replace cinema with DVDs!
it'll be going so hard, you know, it's December, and December means YEAR END SALE!!!!

i had skipped many things. Kickfest, Kemang Festival (ergh, i've been waiting for so long, and after all! i missed it! :( ), Book Festival, and others. and now, they will celebrate local designer rule in BrightSpot Market, and i still dunno whether i can come or no ( and buy something, of course!!)

it's killing me, people!!!
wondershoe just produced two new design, and i am so salivating!!!
huff,,,inhale, exhale..

any idea, so i can out off these all shopping stuffy???

and oh guys, maybe if you have spare time, you can visit my new page here. ng, i know, this blog even haven't been good enough, but i can't stand for creating new one! Visit!! :)

New Moon

2009-12-03T08:43:00.004+07:00

i've met Cullens yesterday night.
i was so exciting before, imagine different movie from the first. Chris Weitz is good enough at Golden Compass, so i put high expectation to this movie.
and well.
on my opinion, i didn't mean to harm anyone, especially Twihard, i am liking Twilight Saga movie also, but the movie was so-so..
nothing special, uh.. lot of cute guys in a night, of course, but beside that, i felt the plot was so slow and boring.
i wasn't blaming anyone. from all books, New Moon is most boring one. it must be hard to realize it in movie form.

anyway, chemistry between Bella and Edward is still number one.
i really love the ending when Edward proposes Bella with no romantic way.
well, best part in this movie, maybe.

still, i can't wait for Eclipse too. it will be awesome, absolutely.

monday and princess

2009-11-30T19:46:00.003+07:00

long live long weekend!

i admit, i really love weekend. especially long one. i just hope, i can stay on my mom's hug forever and ever, but too bad, here i am again.
bad city, bad work, good money.
well, what's on Monday?
things happen.
i spent my morning by watching Heroes, can you imagine? i was stealing an hour before going to office, just for motivating and increasing a bit mood. puff, it's so hard to like Monday, my mindset is so hard to change, i keep it in " I hate Monday ". somehow, i'd like Matt Parkman pushing me to think Monday is cool enough. :)
well, then i had boring noon, had freaky crap conversation about fire stop. i really had no idea, what people think. i didn't even know what fire stop is, why they think i could imagine how it stands, and its detail?
yeah, however that's my job. i found new stuffs every day, and make me as stupidest people ever. don't worry, i love my partners at work, but sometimes they overestimate me, and expect too high. they think, by "cumlaude" hang on me, it means i know about EVERYTHING.
oh, c'mon, that's not the way it is.

and i got my 2nd day of menstruation. miraculously, i didn't feel hurt at my stomach anyway. got mad, okay, but i thought my boss is more devastating that me. he got mad all day long, and made me scared. a bit.
ng, okay.
a lot.
what a life.
hard.
rough.

you know, i didn't expect more, but don't you think living as Disney Princess is so pleasant?
i was wondering, if i were Belle, i must haven't think about real things, just enjoy life by reading all books at my wonderful library (remember? the one which gifted by Beast). Playing with cute danceable things, moving clocks and chandelier, happily ever after?
or, if i were Ariel, i just can sit all day long, singing, maybe sometimes i can visit Neptune and my sisters under the sea.

don't you think we are too spoiled by our bedtime stories? when life is so easy, nothing too hard to get, and we can live life joyfully? yes, childhood must be our most beautiful times, but maybe we should insert a bit reality, so they don't get shocked someday, when they face a REAL life?
REAL life, without magic, princess charming, palace, and fairy mother. maybe, life will get easier when you can call your fairy mother every time you're in trouble.
i want it deadly. i was hoping, my godmother could come, and help me solve some equation. or maybe, she could spell some magic, which can make my building stands for a second?

i envy Disney princess. they do nothing. they just get hurt. where is justice, when all you have to do in world, is having bad ugly step mother, so you can get everything you want in the end? Being an orphan is pitiful, but c'mon, in the fact, being an orphan can't make you helped by cute little dwarfs who live in the forest. the reality is, whether you are having complete parents or not, treated as servant or lady, you must act hard to achieve your actualization. there's no fairy mother, there's no magic, there's no way, but work hard. and God, of course.

am i too cynical?
i just think, maybe we can start to change our childhood stories. changing it from too-good-to-be-true story become near-reality story.

wondershoe (part 2)

2009-11-23T18:58:00.004+07:00

remember it?
and..

my wondershoe is comiiiiiing!!!

finally!

how cute are they, huh?

i really love the blue ones!

i can say i am satisfied with my first double wondershoe.
i don't think they can serve as fast as this.
they are so fit in me, comfortable, lotsa kisses for wondershoe.

so, what are you waiting for?

ORDER NOW!!!!

DVDs

2009-11-23T08:37:00.003+07:00

okay, everyone.
i got great and perfect weekend.
it's simple one, exactly, i just crawled and spent whole day with my bf, watched some old good movies, craved pizzas, and did nothing!
but, i think it was so enjoyable, beside i had pretty busy and hectic week before, and i felt so mad about it, so i decided movies would be good refreshment for me.

and it worked!
ahaha..

here the movie list i watched yesterday.

1. The Core (2003). i've already watched it almost 5 years ago, but i want my bf watch it too. the movie is infamous, less than any disaster movie, such as Deep Impact, Armageddon, or 2012, but i think, it's pretty good, and presented different plot from any other.

2. Shakespeare in Love (1998). i thought it will be boring, but surprise! we laughed almost whole time! it's funny, tragical comedy, however Joseph Fiennes is so cute! :D

3. B-13 (2004). you maybe have watched the sequel, B-13 Ultimatum.

4. Pay It Forward (2000). i remember i had read the novel when i was in high school, and i cried all day long! i was so mad about unhappy ending, but it was beautiful novel. and surprisingly, so was the movie.

5. Ghost Town (2008). it should be comedy, but i slept in half movie, so had no idea about its ending. haha...

6. Heroes Season 3 Volume 4: Fugitives, all series! it spent 8 hours to finish it! ahaha, i love these series sooooo much! it had unexpected ending, something did happen to Sylar, i don't want to spoil it all! i can't wait til i can continue with volume 5. be patient!

haha.. it's so unimportant post, i am sorry for spamming it.
i was so happy yesterday.
how about you, people?

Him and mine

2009-11-17T14:25:00.003+07:00

it's rainy November.
i found it was raining almost every day.

it's boring to keep staying inside, when you found you had nothing to do.
i keep myself be patient, and wait until the sky get clearer.

i am okay with the coldness, okay with all gloomy things around, but i can't stand with this boredom. i wish i could go and do something else, something meaningful, beside just sitting here and listening some old song from Iwan Fals.

thinking about incumbency,humans do have duty for being grateful to every God's gift. Rain, for example. there's no other way we must be regretful for it. even, if it make us do some cancellation, or something annoying that ruin our perfect plan.
God must have any other purpose to refract it.

but, is it alright?
is it true that He always have any kindness behind all refraction He did?
i am hoping so, i believe that He loves us. always.
but, somehow, i am kinda hesitate, and i am not shy to confess it.
what i don't want is keeping my hesitation, on and on, and breaking all my belief for Him.
i am hoping for loving and keep trust on Him. no matter what He ruins my plan, no matter what rain falls and destroys my work, i hope i can stand tough.
and i hope He'll show the way.

too many hopes in a day, huh?
remember, God is online, but he's always invisible,he..

2009-11-13T19:11:00.000+07:00

ng.
pingin cheese cake.
anybody? :D

en la lluvia, cuando le recuerdo..

2009-11-12T13:30:00.010+07:00

snif!snif!

saya terpaku melihat hujan di luar yang begitu deras, sambil membayangkan bagaimana keadaan di proyek saya yang berjarak kira-kira 50 meter dari kantor saya.
jalan dua lajur di depan tergenang air, nyaris seperti banjir.
saya ngeri membayangkan proyek yang pasti akan begitu becek, sehingga akan sayang sekali jika saya kesana dengan memakai flat shoes kesayangan saya ini. mungkin memang sudah saatnya untuk mempertimbangkan membeli sepasang bot. yang kuat, yang tahan air.
saya paling benci kalau kaki saya terkena air.

belum lagi telinga saya yang terus berdenging.
ini adalah sakit terparah saya sejak saya hijrah ke jakarta.
biasanya, setiap saya sakit, saya cukup istirahat sehari penuh, lalu bengun keesokannya dengan badan yang segar bugar.
tapi, sudah empat hari ini badan saya gak keruan.
telinga saya berdenging, sakitnya bukan main.
saya bahkan mempertimbangkan untuk pergi ke spesialis THT hari ini.

saat-saat seperti inilah, tanpa memperdulikan umur saya yang sudah menginjak 21, saya sangat membutuhkan mama.
sepertinya obat terampuh di dunia, jika saya bisa tidur beristirahat di pangkuan mama.
mendengar mama menasehati saya, sambil memijat punggung saya lembut. membuatkan saya susu hangat. membujuk saya minum obat.
sangat tidak bijaksana, mengingat saya seharusnya sudah mampu berdiri sendiri, membuang semua kemanjaan saya. tidak menyusahkan mama.
kadang, seperti ada pertentangan batin. antara mengabarkan mama keadaan saya sekarang, atau tidak. berkata saya sakit, atau berbohong bahwa saya baik-baik saja. saya takut membuat mama khawatir. takut membuat mama merasa bersalah karena tidak bisa menemani saya disini.

saya kangen mama. tak perduli baru hari minggu kemaren saya bertemu.
saya tidak tahu, kapan saya bisa melepaskan mama. untuk selamanya saya akan menjadi seorang anak. anak mama.

2009-11-05T14:14:00.001+07:00

aku ga mau jadi orang kuat. aku ga mau jadi spesial. aku ga mau jadi luar biasa. aku mau jadi orang biasa-biasa aja yang menjalani hidup dengan bahagia.

wondershoe

2009-11-04T17:23:00.003+07:00

who knows WONDERSHOE angkat tangaaaaan????

jaman sekarang, siapa yang nggak tau WONDERSHOE. online shop ini menjual sepatu flats hand made (100% asli indonesia!) yang modelnya ga kalah lucu dengan brand luar negeri. dan dengan harga yang terjangkau. 135k per pair! it's awesome, huh?

saya tau online shop ini sudah sejak lama. kalo ga salah dari Woro Pradono. Mbak yang gila sepatu ini sering banget nyebutin WONDERSHOE di blognya (wondershoe must thank to her! you got your free promo, sis!).
dan liat katalognya bener2 bikin saya salivating!!! apalagi bulan oktober kemaren, ketika Diana Rikasari secara khusus mendesain tiga buah sepatu untuk Wondershoe. they are so cute! sayang sekali edisi itu limited hanya bulan Oktober. saya terpaksa gigit jari karena kehabisan.

Ingin sekali memiliki sepatu wondershoe dari lama. Cuma pada saat itu saya belum pede dengan belanja online, baik itu melalui web, blogspot, multiply, atau facebook. cuma dengan beranjak waktu, semakin menjamurnya online shop, dan semakin menipisnya waktu saya untuk keluar belanja, mulailah saya browsing-browsing online shop kembali, termasuk wondershoe ini.

and, you know what??
i've already ordered my first wondershoe shoes!!!
two pairs of them!
(karena ada hadiah IPOD NANO 16GB di akhir November ini. Wish me luck! :) )
can't wait until it's ready, i'll show you them! of course!
wait, wait, wait!! :)

ice creaaaam!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-30T08:39:00.004+07:00

begitu liat komen mbak eka di posting ini, saya langsung teringat beberapa hari yang lalu.
siang hari, selepas istirahat, tiba-tiba bos saya mengajak keluar "mbak, ikut saya liat alat di daerah Lantumenten ya!"
aduh, sumpah setengah mati, saya malas sekali keluar kantor. dengan kerjaan yang berjibun, akan lebih baik saya diam di tempat saja.
hati itu hari pertama saya dapet juga. moodmeter saya sudah menunjuk angka minus, pikiran udah gak bisa diajak kompromi, belum lagi semua tanda-tanda kedapetan melanda saya. sakit perut, pegal-pegal, dan ingin meledak. wanita,wanita, betapa sulitnya menjadi wanita. hehe..

anyway, he insisted me, jadi saya pergi juga.
saya pergi bersama tiga orang lainnya dari pihak owner.
tapi lho? kok mobil yang saya kendarai tidak menuju arah Lantumenten, tapi berbelok masuk ke arah Hotel Borobudur?
saya sedikit bertanya-tanya, dan ternyata kami semua tidak langsung pergi ke tempat yang dimaksud, namun mampir dulu untuk dijamu salah satu pimpinan dari perusahaan yang memiliki alat itu.

well,makin malaslah saya. pasti jamuan ini isinya basa-basi, ketawa-ketiwi gak jelas antar pimpinan. mau apa saya yang cuma staf biasa ada diantara mereka?

di restoran, saya juga cuma diam, hanya menanggapi dengan anggukan atau senyuman, atau sekali-kali ikut menjawab jika ada yang memulai pembicaraan. tiba-tiba salah seorang berkata pada saya, "mbak, disana ada es krim lho, mau?"

saya mengikuti arah telunjuk dia, dan terperanjat melihat satu counter Baskin-Robbins (yang berada sedikit di pojok, oleh karena itu saya tidak melihatnya sebelumnya) duduk manis, seakan melambai-lambai pada saya.
Baskin-Robbins! all i can eat! for free! (yang paling penting gratisannya kali ya, kapan lagi bisa makan Baskin-Robbins sepuasnya dan GRATIS!!)

dan menguaplah semua kekesalan, rasa eneg, pegal, dan sakit perut saya itu. ice cream is created to help bad mood. i realize for sure. :)

PS. they are so amazing! i spent three scopes! nyesel banget karena sebelumnya sudah makan siang,jadi masih dalam keadaan kenyang. :p

ah..

2009-10-23T11:58:00.002+07:00

ada saatnya sulit sekali untuk fokus pada satu hal.
biasanya yang terjadi ialah pikiran terbagi-bagi pada banyak hal dan kita jadi pusing sendiri, memprioritaskan yang mana, mengerjakan apa terlebih dahulu.
kadang tubuh duduk diam, mata terpaku ke layar komputer, sedangkan pikiran melanglang buana.
padahal saya baru 21. single. which means masih hidup sendiri dan belum berkeluarga. tidak perlu cemas memikirkan suami yang mungkin sudah pulang kantor dan belum ada masakan tersedia di rumah karena saya masih sibuk lembur di kantor. tidak perlu memikirkan anak-anak yang perlu diajari membuat PR. tidak perlu memikirkan pembantu bandel di rumah yang kerjanya kelayapan ke tetangga. atau tagihan listrik, PLN, dan telepon. atau cicilan rumah yang belum dibayar. kartu kredit. SPP anak. dan masih banyak lagi.
saya masih hidup sendiri. ngekos pula. yang saya lakukan sehari-hari cuma pergi kerja. pulang. tidur. nonton TV kalo sempet. jalan-jalan di akhir minggu. that's it. sesimple itu, kalo misalnya dirangkum dalam beberapa kata diatas.
tapi saya masih sering menemukan diri saya terbagi. tidak bisa saya hanya memikirkan kerjaan walaupun masih di dalam jam kerja. fokus saya sering terbagi, yang akhirnya membuat saya pusing sendiri.
Entah bagaimana menentukan prioritas dalam hidup, saya juga masih belajar.
Ketika datang dua hal yang sama pentingnya dalam hidup, bagaimana kita akan memilih ketika tahu tidak dapat melepaskan keduanya?

banyak kepala

2009-10-23T08:27:00.002+07:00

Mungkin karena ini pengalaman pertama saya di proyek, saya kadang masih bingung dengan job desk yang harus saya kerjakan.
Pernah merasa menjadi orang paling bodoh sedunia?
yah..itulah yang saya rasakan sekarang.

yang mungkin paling membingungkan ialah banyaknya kepala yang ikut berperan di dalam satu proyek.
dari mulai owner.
MK.
Perencana Struktur.
Perencana Arsitek.
ME.
dan kontraktor sendiri.
Semua kepala punya isi dan pemikiran berbeda-beda.
Dan salah satu tugas saya adalah menyamakan persepsi itu agar gedung yang kami bangun bisa sesuai harapan dari semua pihak.

dan itu sulit sekali!
menghubungkan pikiran orang yang bahkan tidak berada dalam satu tempat yang sama. oke, ini zaman modern. bisa telpon, fax, maupun email.
tapi, terkadang telpon, fax, atau email saja tidak cukup menggambarkan keruwetan yang timbul di dalam gambar rencana.
Saya ngomong A di telpon, perencana berfikir B.
Saya menuju gambar A, dia menuju gambar B.
dan pada akhirnya malah gak nyambung sama sekali.

Belum lagi kalau gambar dari perencana struktur gak klop dengan gambar arsitek.
Mungkin itu hal yang sangat biasa di dunia perproyekan, cuma bagi saya yang baru pertama kali mengalami ini, rasanya amat mumet njelimet!

Belum lagi kalau perencana arsitek dengan seenak udelnya mengubah-ubah gambar arsitek yang bisa berpengaruh pada desain struktur. otomatis struktur harus desain ulang. analisa ulang. ngerayu-rayu perencana struktur untuk desain ulang. karena, jujur saja, saya masih kebat-kebit kalo desain saya dieksekusi di lapangan. amankah? bisa berdiri dengan kuatkah? apa suatu saat bisa ambrol?
berbagai pikiran buruk langsung hinggap di benak saya.

Ini semua mungkin biasa bagi orang yang sudah lama berkecimpung di proyek.
namun sekali lagi, ini tetap hal yang wah bagi saya. yang harus saya adaptasikan.
yang harus saya pelajari dari awal.

dan kemarin ketika fesbuk saya berkata "PERENCANA GAK JELAAAAAS!!!", salah seorang senior saya waktu kuliah memberi komen, "kalau ada perencana yang jelas, ga perlu ada kontraktor", saya otomatis tertawa terbahak. benar juga, kalo semua perencana jelas, langsung saja panggil tukang, dan ga perlu ada kontraktor untuk menggordinasikan semua ini.