Him and mine

it's rainy November.
i found it was raining almost every day.

it's boring to keep staying inside, when you found you had nothing to do.
i keep myself be patient, and wait until the sky get clearer.

i am okay with the coldness, okay with all gloomy things around, but i can't stand with this boredom. i wish i could go and do something else, something meaningful, beside just sitting here and listening some old song from Iwan Fals.

thinking about incumbency,humans do have duty for being grateful to every God's gift. Rain, for example. there's no other way we must be regretful for it. even, if it make us do some cancellation, or something annoying that ruin our perfect plan.
God must have any other purpose to refract it.

but, is it alright?
is it true that He always have any kindness behind all refraction He did?
i am hoping so, i believe that He loves us. always.
but, somehow, i am kinda hesitate, and i am not shy to confess it.
what i don't want is keeping my hesitation, on and on, and breaking all my belief for Him.
i am hoping for loving and keep trust on Him. no matter what He ruins my plan, no matter what rain falls and destroys my work, i hope i can stand tough.
and i hope He'll show the way.

too many hopes in a day, huh?
remember, God is online, but he's always invisible,he..