Just in case my husband read this blog..

... your wifey is craving.. salted caramel cupcakes. Red matte lipstick. Black eyeliner. Colorful ramekins. The Silkworm. the end.

#edisibanyakmau :)))

Ini...

..mungkin salah satu posting yang paling nyenye disini.

I miss being youth and alay. I miss listening sad songs while thinking how pathetic my life is. I miss being irresponsible for anything. I miss weeping in the corner of my room, crying of love. I miss watching rain outside with gloomy heart. I miss doing every non-logical and childish thing. I miss writing my journal, not about life vision, family matters, future, but about what happened today, why I am so happy, and every tiny unimportant things. I miss my silent night. I miss me being alone.

It is so hard to tell, you know why? Because while I am missing all things above, I know deep in my heart I don't want to change a thing about my life now. Although I rarely (even can't!) do those things again. I am too busy live my life, now.

Just a Quick Update..

.. that I'm already on my 23th week!

And keep going (strongly and healthy I hope..)

Been busy lately, apalagi dengan rencana cuti akhir bulan nanti, pendingan kerjaan harus diselesein semua, jadi harus ekstra kerja keras buat nyelesein semua. It's even harder ketika kantor suami ngadain family gathering, dan iyalah, masa sebagai istri patuh nan setia ngga ikutan sik? Turns out gathering weekend kemaren amat sangat menyenangkan dan refreshing, walaupun harus kehilangan 2 hari buat kerja. Dan belum bisa ngepost soal itu, belum mindah foto-foto-nya apalagi nge-resize. Duh, so much to do, so little time!

Kangen lari eung. Karena ada histori sama flek, DSOG cuma nyaranin jalan santai sama berenang. Iya sik, kompetitif buat apa sih, kalo naro anak sendiri dalam bahaya? *elus-elus perut* Tetep kalo lagi scroll instagram, terus ngeliat orang ngupload foto race, ato sepatu baru, aku ingiiin, hehehe.. Later yaaa... insya Allah masih bisa.

Dedek alhamdulillah udah kooperatif. Mamamnya udah mulai banyak, dan sekarang mommy-nya malah harus jaga diri biar timbangannya ngga naik drastis dan masih dalam kondisi normal-normal aja, ngga overweight. Dedek juga setia banget nemenin mommy lembur, rapat sampai malam, walaupun tiap kali lembur pasti bisik-bisik ijin dulu, "Dedeeek, kalo ngga kuat kasih sign yaa.. ngga mommy paksain lembur kok sayang.." Sejauh ini sih dia udah bisa uteg-uteg ugel di perut bawah sana, sampai pernah semaleman ngga bisa tidur karena geli sendiri, ngerasa ditowel-towel dari dalam perut. Subhanallah, waktu trimester pertama dulu, sampai ngga abis pikir miracle-nya hamil itu dimana karena kondisinya menderita sekali, tapi sekarang.... rasanya terharu 24 jam deh kalo sadar ada kehidupan di dalam perut ini.

OK, mommy's sentimental zone is beginning...

Hihihi..

Anyway, mudah-mudahan semuanya bisa lancar... Next postnya kita cerita tentang gathering kemaren ya! Makanya kerjaan ini cepat selesai dunk yuhuuu..

reminder of the day:

"Do not envy the favors which God has granted to some of you. Men and women will both be rewarded according to their deeds, rather pray to God for His favors. God knows all things"
(QS An-Nisa : 32)

Going with Rambling

Feel a little bit numb lately. I walked a day without knowing what I've been passing, it's like gazing through abstract exhibition, you've finished it but have no idea what you seeing.

I was sitting, hours by hours, trying to finish some unfinished business. And the worst of that is I keep forgetting what to do, my brain is rebelling, folders  of mind keep disordered.

I've been through worst. Been through worse moments than today. Should remember how to gain some strengths, some confidence, and I am not big fan of self motivation book. Screw them to tell us how to live. I do think everyone have different life, customized one, so none could generalize your life. I believe it's okay to complain sometimes. It's not like none has ever complained about their life, or job, or lovers. Complaints reminds us how lucky we are, to feel, to have own opinion, to be free to say something.

So, I am gonna hang on as long as I can. Moreover, I read somewhere, only the dead who have no problem. Really? I am one of people who believe life after death, theory which says that we are responsible of what we are doing now, assessed by good and bad things we have done. So, the dead sure still have some businesses down there, right?

I've rambled much. It is the result when you need a distraction from your super busy meaningless life. Some of them dancing, some of them singing, some of them reading. I am writing. And rambling.

Keep trying to make your life count. Do tell me how you cope when you think that your life feels so bored lately.