December 27, 2013

Yin and Yang

On the positive side, I feel so overly happy, overjoy. I feel the kicking, the jabbing like every minutes and every hour in my life, we talked to him like he was there, indeed he was there. We bought so many tiny beautiful things, set things up, re-layout our room because we had no space to create new nursery, and settled things down. I was soooo exciting when finally my husband arranged our new baby box, we had our argument whether we need to buy it or no, and ended with buying it, and we couldn't stop starring it after it finished. I couldn't stop folding and tidying little cloth diapers, clothes, socks, towel and put it into our closet, and then opened it again, folding it again. I think it is my nesting instinct kicking over it all, and guess nobody understand it.

On the negative side, I always feel this little cranky and uneasy feeling that something is going wrong. It's not right, I know, and maybe it won't happen, but before I'm getting pregnant, I always be this cranky and perfectionist person, so with all these hormones happening, it all magnified. I suspected that everyone going against me, my mother, my mom-in-law, even sometimes my husband. I have no idea whether other mother-to-be feeling the same way, but with this overly happy feeling, it makes me realize that I can be crushed easily too.

So, I guess the feeling comes in both way and all I can do is embrace it. And counting the days until he arrives. :)

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