sebelumnya... gw ngundang kalian semua buat liat anak baru gw... liat sini yaaa..





masi di kantor gw. lembur, pusing, hehe.. sok lebay gw.. abisnya baru kedatangan dokumen tender baru, dua sekaligus, dan ga ada soft copynya pula. jadilah seharian ngescan-scan ga jelas, tapi gara-gara ngescannya dari blue print ga jelas, hasilnya jadi jelek juga.. kesel juga..
rada deg-degan juga tapinya.. my first project, dimana gw harus ngerjain semuanya dari awal dan sendirian.. well, ga sendirian banget sih, gw masih bisa tanya-tanya, tapi gimanapun juga gw deg-degan!!

udah sepi banget di kantor, tinggal berempat gitu, manfaatin fasilitas buat ngeblog ah!! facility abuse banget ya,,whatever..

gw rada mikir-mikir apa yang udah terjadi seminggu kebelakang. gw separo kesel, separo bersyukur sih punya temen-temen yang care banget sama gw, tapi plis deh? gw juga butuh privasi yang musti dijaga, dan ga seluruh segi kehidupan gw harus diketahui semua orang kan?
okey, gw cerita. minggu kemaren gw mutusin untuk break dulu dari hubungan gw. i want to be single. being single and happy. gw udah ngomong baik-baik sama andesit, mikirin baik-baik sampe kepala rasanya mau pecah, dan akhirnya tercapai kesepakatan itu. break. for a while.
tapi ada beberapa pihak, yang ga bisa gw sebut, karena beberapa diantaranya itu TEMEN DEKET gw sendiri, yang ga terima. okey, gw tauuuuuu banget kalo mereka sayang dan care sama gw, tapi for God's sake, gw ngambil keputusan ini bukan cuma mikir sehari dua hari.. ini berat juga buat gw, susah, tapi emang ini buat kebaekan lebih besar. kata andesit, "kita gak bisa ngontrol pikiran orang", yaaah.. that's true.. jadi gw memutuskan untuk ngebiarin aja orang mau ngomong apa (ada yang nuduh gw selingkuh pula.. TEMEN DEKET GW!)

Positifnya, gw ngerasain banget beratnya jadi artis..hahahahaha.. ternyata emang berat banget ditanya ini itu, diserang dari berbagai pihak, yang bahkan ga bisa mahamin perasaan kita.
well...
yah,,,emang segala hal itu ada konsekuensinya..ini mungkin yang harus gw terima dengan mengambil langkah itu. gw ga nyesel. belum, mungkin. but, once again, tomorrow is still a mistery.


oya... mau bagi2 info juga tentang ini:

Never think. Just enjoy.

Hey, ga tau kenapa tiba-tiba muncul di kepala gw kalimat itu. Never think, just enjoy. Terkadang seseorang terlalu berkutat, mengubek-ngubek ke dalam pikirannya sendiri, mencari tahu siapa, bagaimana, kapan, dimana. Berusaha mengira apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan, konsekuensi yang akan diterima, masalah yang mungkin terjadi, dan solusi yang harus diambil. Pikiran seperti itu terkadang terlalu memenuhi hidup, sehingga gw lupa satu hal. Menikmati. Menikmati, tanpa harus memikirkan sesuatu. Hanya menikmati, merasakan yang terjadi hari ini, jam ini, menit ini, detik ini. Gw kadang lupa akan rasa, karena terlalu terbelenggu oleh ketakutan yang timbul akan pemikiran-pemikiran rumit tadi. Dan pada akhirnya, gw sadar. Bahwa yang terpenting adalah rasa.


PS. Thanks God for giving "gifts" to me. I'll try to enjoy it, not to think about it.

Read this!!!!

read this. it's so disturbing. i mean it. i am not such kinda nature lovers or Greenpeace member, but it's soooooo disturbing!!!!!!!

moving thingy

i can't resist my eagerness to write you this, even if i should post twice a day. from the first, i just know, consequences of my job, being replaced, here and there, moving everywhere and every time,,,
one, we can stand altogether here, having fun at one place, but sooner or later, most of us will leave.
oh hell, it's a nuisance, when we know one by one will leave. and, at last, there will be less of us, staying here, in a damn bloody cold office. i dunno if i can resist it. being far away from all my friends, alone, and stand independent.

here's the list.
1st assessment
Saga Hayyu : UIN Project, Jakarta
Sani Yuda : Paiton Project, Situbondo (but he helps in BTN Project in Jakarta for a while)
Kalihputro F : DVRT, Jakarta
Beti Inayati : DVO 3, Surabaya
Yulia Dela Dacrea : DVO 2, Jakarta

2nd assessment
Nirwan : resign
Zahratunnisak : DVO 2, Jakarta
Ambang : DVO 1, Medan
Hadi Nugroho : DVO 3, Surabaya

3rd assessment
Anjar Tri Astuti : DVO 3, Surabaya
Eko Arif : UNDIP Semarang Project (damn! how lucky he is!)
Teguh Faizal Afwa : DVO 1, Medan (huhuhu.. mau meweeeek..)
Heri Ahmadi : DVO 1, Medan

PS.. I'll update this list, soon after everyone get their replacement thingy.

dreaming thingy

yesterday, i had a gracious conversation with a friend. it's whole about dreaming. he, who always has wildest dream in his head, couldn't understand why people always keep their dream beneath what they can achieve.
i am not really sure, but after all, i think, people are scared. They are scared of dream. i can't tell you for sure, but have you ever felt that you satisfy with life, and feel it's enough, you don't have to achieve more? have you ever bored with proverb " Gantungkanlah mimpimu setinggi bintang"?
i do believe, some of us have felt it in life. people, who always dream, must not understand, why we are scared. but i do understand. we have been prisoned with ourselves. our mind.
i envy with people who have braveness to dream. they dream, without thinking what will happen next.it's awesome. they will try to reach beyond, and always beyond, cuz they have a dream.



PS. i've read some great posting, tell about dream. click here and here.

Commitment: Willingness or Compulsion?

I've been thinking whole time about this commitment things. and honestly, it's not the first time. how can we differ, when we had a commitment, and run it honestly, without any compulsion from outside?
define commitment. what is to commit? to give in trust or charge. the point is believing. so. commitment should not bind, rite?
here i come, with all excuses and apologizes. i don't know, where it come from. i am scared of commitment. for real. there were no problems before, i kept it easily. but, somehow, it appeared ahead. i feel it trammels me.
my friend said, maybe it just kinda quarter life crisis. what the heck? i replied her, "for God's sake, i am just 20! don't you really think that quarter life crisis should happen for people aged 25 above?"
she answered me. she said, it could happen to everyone aged 20 something. plus, she think that i have maturity more than my age says. oh gees, really? i have that scary crisis?
i am sorry, for people that I've hurt. it hurts me, too. so bad. but it's for greater good. i believe it. i am sorry for forcing my egoism to you, as if my happiness is the most important things in this world. i am sorry, so sorry..

Red Sheep

well, try this. i found it from cassey's blog, and it pleases me. it's a website to know people's personality. i checked mine, and this is the result.



You are Red Sheep who remains like a young girl with pure and innocent heart.
You do not forget consideration for others, and tries to be kind without putting any pressure to the other person.
You tend to be very dependent on people around you, and therefore are able to adapt to new environment quite easily.
Nevertheless, you will experience many ups and downs in your life.
You are not a weak type; you can show perseverance and aggressiveness.
You tend to be stubborn, and not easily show your real feelings.
You also tend to be calculative, and are sensitive to profit and loss.
You can make shrewd decisions concerning money.
When you don't get your way, you can be sultry and feel sorry for yourself.
You have lots of friends and are a very sociable person.
However you tend to feel lonely easily and lack independence.
You can show great talent through learning from your own experience in the society, rather than from school education.
You will be able to follow a successful life by first taking an assistant kind of job, and then later starting your own business.
After getting married, you will be able to run your house extremely well.
You may become too obsessed with your children's education.
Your type of people tends to choose either being a housewife or your career.

isyarat..

yes....it's not only my heart, tough..

it's my heart.

(pic's taken from Arini Purwono's)