February 16, 2009

Commitment: Willingness or Compulsion?

I've been thinking whole time about this commitment things. and honestly, it's not the first time. how can we differ, when we had a commitment, and run it honestly, without any compulsion from outside?
define commitment. what is to commit? to give in trust or charge. the point is believing. so. commitment should not bind, rite?
here i come, with all excuses and apologizes. i don't know, where it come from. i am scared of commitment. for real. there were no problems before, i kept it easily. but, somehow, it appeared ahead. i feel it trammels me.
my friend said, maybe it just kinda quarter life crisis. what the heck? i replied her, "for God's sake, i am just 20! don't you really think that quarter life crisis should happen for people aged 25 above?"
she answered me. she said, it could happen to everyone aged 20 something. plus, she think that i have maturity more than my age says. oh gees, really? i have that scary crisis?
i am sorry, for people that I've hurt. it hurts me, too. so bad. but it's for greater good. i believe it. i am sorry for forcing my egoism to you, as if my happiness is the most important things in this world. i am sorry, so sorry..

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