November 07, 2008

farewell, long distance

farewell is not fun at all.

yesterday was my graduation day, and i feel lotsa feeling..
relieved and affected, finally it comes, time when i walked to the front, received congrats from my rector.
and guess??
being 1st female graduate at commencement makes me feel a great pride. i was the 1st person walking up the stair. i was the person, who sat on 1st numbered chair. i could brought my parents walk toward with lotsa joys and prides.
but, after party's over, i must faced reality. i must back into real world. so hard, cuz graduation days for me means breaking all the bond. Bond between me in my campus, bond between me and my lecturers, bond between me and my friends. i didnt say that i wont face them again, but everything will change. we've grew up, living in our own way, step alone. no more hanging out cz we're on different track.
i still keeping it and dont want to waste it away. i keep thinking times will never change, and keep thinking that things always be the same.
haha.. must throw that child-feeling away.

long distance isn't fun at all.
honestly, i hate walking on this. i am sick of this "long distance" thing. i am revolted of the "it's for our both future" idea. i just wanna be with him. sounds selfish,i know, but f***ked with all theory, my heart, my feeling never lies.
i can't enjoy it. i dunno, whether it's my fate or no, whether i've tried enough or no, i just think i cant. i feel like hypocrite, sometimes i told my friends to change their mindset, so the can receive everything in life sincerely. but, now i feel empty, and i just can implement it.
yeah..i am not grateful enough. with all God's bless, i still moaning. i am a jerk.
but, nothing i can do. nothing,
geez, i miss him so much,

i've read one posting, which could make me this. maybe i am too dramatic and melancholic. i dunno.

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