Live from Cibubur

Hah,it's just unbelieveable. I've been here,for a week..many things happened.life become tough and beautiful at same time. Yeah,like roller coaster.
So painful. I mean it. Be unfocus, and keep on pretending is my daily act. After last nightmare on Friday, i keep crying, crying, and crying. Wanna runaway, and must have done it, as if i didnt remember my mum. I even thought of death. Trust me, it's so painful, my heart keep beating unrhytmely, and i was lost on my own way.

During this week, i've been following an orientation for new employees. We have been being trained by some armies military. Yup, i wasnt kidding. MILITARY. i enjoyed it,as long as i didnt remember my fam's problem. I was so tired,being happy-calm-gladful girl in front of all my friends. But,it didnt matter. All i've done is for my mum.. (Read this carefully mum,even i tried be brave enough to hug those cobras, just for you!)

I am missing my guys already. Basecamp guys. This situation remind me of them, and i cant get them out of my head. I love them.

Lan texts me,she just wanna know when i will go home. I laughed at heart,got a big confusing at where i will go home. Where's my home now? I have no idea,but gosh, i am starting to miss her too..

Struggling hard here every day.SO HARD. Against our tiring,facing some new rules (u wont believe, i'll publish some pics later,when i am home),and keep surviving from a new fling. It is SO DANGEROUS,and i dont want being trapped anymore. NEVER.

Almost being mad,but start to enjoy it.keep positive thinking,there are people who still love me sincerely.
Even,after every hard storm,
Rainbow appears...