sweet past.

i can tell you, it's been long time since i talked about it.but somehow, i dunno why, she texted me this morning, and suddenly remind me of these sweet moments. and bitter too, of course.


well, it's about teenage fling or you can call it a crush maybe. i remember, six or seven years ago when we were in high school, still lame and frumpish, and each had big ego and fell to (thanks God) two different cute boys.

They were special for us, i think. i still remember how we were mad in love with them, and did a lot crazy things. i am a bit embarrassed we had done all those stuffs. we shared a lot of romantic but goofy words in diary, we brought a recording tape to some special events that we might meet those guys.
we were still like a teenage ones, like to flirt with handsome guys, but i dunno, at this time, it would say that we had extra loyalties for these men. we only thought about them, cried for them, sometimes went crazy because of them.
it just, like we want to be so desperate, we want to be dying, just because of them. we didn't care whether people might say we were freak. we just adores them! It were beautiful feeling, so that i can still feel the pain. love is nothing without pain, right? it makes love more beautiful, more precious.

and, you know, readers.
that time, we even didn't consider to find another guy to hang out. the other girls just make it with guys who loved them, but we just couldn't do it. we want it with them. only them!

ridiculous, i know. we were hypnotized so well. ng, even until now, i don't make sure if THEY KNOW that we have those feelings for them. we just let it flow. with no word, no farewell, no love statement.
(well, i did, exactly, but it doesn't matter yet, i won't talk about me, here)

the things is, years have gone by, i can't remember last time we meet with them. those two guys. one day, suddenly, i heard a bad news. one of them passed away. and, he is the person whom my friend crushed on. it's like, even i am not in love, or have any feeling of him, big hole came into my heart. he was my daily life then, when we still shared happiness together, how come can he go as fast as it?
i never get used of it. until now. i will get pretty shocked, if she came and opened a conversation about it. i know, we have ran our new life here, adult life, settle with it, but it's just something that you can left behind, it will always be there.

i miss those moments. i miss sneaking up, and following them right behind their back. i miss recording some foolishness (do you still keep the tape,friend?). and, i miss coming to some parties, and ignoring all the bands while we were busy wrote into our diary. it's damn pleasant!!!

i miss them. those guys. one is on heaven, one is on earth. hello guys, do you still remember us?