October 11, 2008

a new life


it's me again..

this month, I've spent much time for writing in this blog..dunno, I have a feeling that I'll have less time for blogging after starting my new life..
I'll go to Jakarta today,in next two hours. It scares me..
mungkin, cuma orang - orang pengecut aja yang takut buat memulai sesuatu yang baru, dan even I hate being called as a loser, I'm still frightened.
gw masih bertanya - tanya aja, bakal jadi apa hidup gw disana, kayak gimana keseharian gw yang bakal beda jauh sama hari - hari gw ke belakang..

Mingu - minggu ini penuh sama perasaan gelisah. I can't concentrate of everything, be unfocused, pessimistic. I didn't show it to anyone, I denied this feeling, but it was there. Ada ngehantuin pikiran gw.. As I said before, human can easily be influenced by their own mind. today, I only have negative thinking in my mind, and it says that I can't through it all.

Silly..
Padahal gw sering nasihatin orang tentang being positive, trust ourselves, being confident, hahaha.. gw sendiri ga bisa netapin itu hari ini..
Gw capek banget.. Mobilitas gw akhir2 ini padat banget.. Gw baru kemaren nyampe dari Semarang, sekarang harus pergi lagi ke Jakarta..
Packing and unpacking has been my life for this week. Capek banget. I'm doing everything alone, and it makes me nervous.
I've been trapped in my own emotion, my PMS, geez...it's easier to run..
ga tau, kenapa tiba - tiba jadi manja..
helluw,ini Jakarta gitu.. ga lebih jauh dari Semarang. I can go home whenever I want (of course I won't, kayak ntar kalo udah kerja, bisa cabut kapan aja..)

Gw malu ngeluh terus, gw malu jadi lemah kayak gini.. I should thankful for everything. Sometimes, people never be thankful and always ask for more. I don't wanna be kinda it. Gw mau terus maju, meski gw ga tau ada apa di hadapan gw..
gw pingin trus semangat, walo hari - hari gw ga bakal kayak dulu lagi.
I've wondering kapan ya gw bisa ngisi blog gw dengan sesuatu yang lebih ceria??
Akhir - akhir ini kayaknya isinya sendu, melankolis,hehe..ga banget deh pokoknya!!
hope I'll gonna keep writing, still in this way, and always be myself in my new life..

No comments:

Post a Comment