December 03, 2008

Anger at the Night

Life is world of lies and unhappines. Nope, i didnt talk about this whole world. I am talking about me.
Only God knows,how hard i've struggle for being here. No matter with me,i didnt care. I've just thought my mum,how to make her glad without thinking myself. It's sweet,isn't it?
I was wrong.i must take care of me first.ok,call me selfish-egoistic girl,but it's come you'll make other people happy when u didnt pursuit your own happiness?
Remember when we take flight?stewardess always said,if any trouble happened,we MUST take care ourself first than another.
Even MOTHER and her BABY.First,i didnt get it.of course,a mother will get her baby safe first than herself,but now i see.
If she cant help herself,how will she come help another,esp.her baby?
Huh,a complicated analogy,i know.
I feel like that mother. At one side,i think i dont take any caring of myself.i made all of wars for other people.for my mother,especially.for my bf.for the FUTURE,which i wont even know it'll be there or no.
Future is so absurd,why cant we forget it and take some relax?why must we plan of it,arrange some ideas that makes me freak and try hard to pursue it?
I know,dream is our way holding our world. But it cant be better,if ur DREAM is affected by other people.
DREAM should be yours,totally yours.

Exactly,i dunno what's the purpose of this writing.i've lost my way,and cant think clearly. I am ok being here,but i should get better one. I hate wasting time here,sitting down from 8 to 5,doing nothing,and it repeats on and on. Hate it,hate it,hate it. Want something dynamic,what must i do?
I dont want my time wasted away like this.time's too precious to be done like garbage.we only live once, i wanna get something better than this.i wanna think of MYSELF only,no care of people's talk,and enjoy life.
I just want my sensibility back.

Just u and i,maybe u think i am coward,or a bit sarcasm,right?yeah,totally suitable labels for me.


  1. well, ga ada yang salah dengan keinginan membahagiakan ortu. tapi dilihat dari statement nya, kayanya your mom push you to apply at Civil Engineering, while actually you dont get the feeling, isnt it?

    kalo aku sih, dulu g pernah kepikiran bisa masuk ke Civil Eng, dont like it at all at the begining, but realize that ALLOH have a plan for me, must be beautiful more than my expectation. but, i dont get it yet.

    anyhow, baru kepikiran nie..

    When the going get tough, there are two possibilities:
    1st : the tough get going
    2nd : it is the time to get the hell out of here...

    thats why ALLOH give us the wisdom, so we can make a choise which one that more suitable with our pattern of life...


  2. raih mimpimu, wlpun saat ini kamu masih dibawah bayang-bayang orang-orang di sekitarmu.

    abaikan dulu mimpi dan rencanaku waktu itu.

    kamu punya hak utk jadi penentu nasibmu sendiri, wlpun sekarang belum bisa...

    jika memang saatnya tiba, pasti kan tiba.